127.0.0.1 <---Hack this. GOGOGO!

5/24/2009 | 9:46 PM | Evolved Rationalist

Every once in a while on the internet, you may come across this creature known as a 'skiddie'. As with most internet creatures, skiddies are fun to play around with if you know exactly how to cause them to indulge in the lulz-inducing behavior known as a 'selfpwn'.

An /i/nfamous way of dealing with skiddies is by convincing them that fucking around with the evil bastard whose IP is 127.0.0.1 will result in an increase in the length of their e-penis. Skiddies who are clueless enough [read: n00bish] to fall for it will end up proving an amount of lulz so epic that it almost makes up for the fact that such retards exist on the internet.

Enjoy the lulz!

[The IM username of the skiddie has been changed as he has learnt his lesson.]

(8:40:28 PM) evoatheist: ok i'll give you my ip
(8:40:31 PM) evoatheist: 127.0.0.1
(8:40:38 PM) evoatheist: dos it
(8:40:39 PM) evoatheist: gogogogo
(8:40:49 PM) skiddie: I didn't download any of the tools yet
(8:41:01 PM) evoatheist: ddos my ip after youve downloaded loic
(8:41:06 PM) skiddie: you actually want me to?
(8:41:24 PM) skiddie: ok downloading low orbit ion cannon
(8:41:31 PM) evoatheist: yes
(8:41:34 PM) evoatheist: i want you to
(8:41:47 PM) skiddie: ok. give me time to actually read the instructions.
(8:41:59 PM) evoatheist: hahaha put the ip in there and FIRE
(8:42:03 PM) evoatheist: that's all
(8:42:04 PM) evoatheist: oh skiddie
(8:43:01 PM) evoatheist: you doing allright there?
(8:43:09 PM) skiddie: yeah im closing some windows
(8:43:15 PM) skiddie: the download speed is slow
(8:43:24 PM) evoatheist: heh
(8:43:36 PM) evoatheist: sigh...what am i turning you into...
(8:44:24 PM) skiddie: lol. that, my dear, we are about to find out
(8:46:43 PM) skiddie: gimme a sec i'm about to try this
(8:47:09 PM) evoatheist: on loic, set it to tcp
(8:47:22 PM) skiddie: you mean in method?
(8:47:31 PM) evoatheist: yah
(8:47:38 PM) evoatheist: and speed about 3/4 to the fast end
(8:47:43 PM) skiddie: anything else I need to know?
(8:48:25 PM) evoatheist: u firin yet?
(8:48:32 PM) skiddie: not yet. im about to
(8:48:35 PM) evoatheist: gogogo
(8:48:40 PM) evoatheist: ip 127.0.0.1
(8:48:41 PM) evoatheist: do it
(8:48:54 PM) evoatheist: increase threads to 9000
(8:49:01 PM) evoatheist: and increase speed to maximum

Lessons that should be learnt by every skiddie:

Being a skiddie results in imminent pwnage, and the funniest thing that could happen is that you'd end up pwning yourself.
Don't play with loaded lazors unless you know what the fuck you're doing.
Learn to use a computer. Start by deleting the folder 'System32' that enables the FBI to track you down when you're skidding away.
Download Antivirus 2009 for your Windows box. It prevents you from getting pwned as easily.
Download Windows Optimizer to speed up your computer.
IM me and ask me 'How do I hack?'. <---always a good idea

Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.