No matter how hard you try, you would just have to try even harder to be as much of a failure as this guy.
This is probably not the beginning nor the end of a long and shitty social life.
*snicker*
Finally, some good news.
The parents of a little girl who murdered their own daughter by refusing to provide adequate medical care because they'd rather sacrifice her at the altar of the pseudo-scientific crap known as homeopathy have been jailed.
While this is all nice and good, something tells me that the parents would have gotten off scot-free or gotten away with a lighter sentence if their excuse for murdering their daughter had been because they were following the orders of some imaginary god instead.
Considering the history of such cases, my cynicism is justified, isn't it?
Words can't describe this.
Screencap provided below in case the post gets BAAAAALEETED.
[click to enlarge]
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All of this is apparently fine and dandy behavior due to the fact that it involves religion...till that little voice in his head god tells him to kill someone. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?
"Why is it you speak of never breaking an internet law? Have you really never done anything illegal? I don't understand why you seem to find internet piracy lulzy and support it while also claiming you've never directly contributed." --Random reader on AIM
Halt the presses, everybody. If you've ever saved a picture online that you don't own the rights to, you have done something illegal. WE ARE ALL INTERNET CRIMINALS NOW. Call the honorary Ed Lollington for an Internet LOLsuit. Oh noes!
+1 for epic trollage
V& OSHI--
When it shows 'secure connection failed', accept the certificate, add an exception, and LOLOL YOU'RE IN.
I guess the Vatican needs to work on their internet security.
Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.
Here are training slides (moar liek lulz slides, amirite?) that Micro$hit uses to help people lie to n00bs customers about Linux, and to convince them that since Linux is too messy for their n00bish little brains, they'd be better off sticking to Windoze and giving Micro$hit more and more and more money. Slides were provided by a forum user here.
Click on the images below to enlarge.
Richer and more engaging experience? Did they mean "making Micro$hit richer"? Oh, and running a bloated OS on a netbook is totally guaranteed to make Micro$hit richer provide a richer and more engaging experience of smashing your head against the keyboard repeatedly and finally gouging your eyes out to escape the Vistaids-like horror.
HAHAHAHAHA just look at the first panel! Micro$hit seems to think, or hopes to convince n00bs into thinking, that using any other OS on a PC makes your PC, well, no longer a PC. Why else would they say that "PCs run most of the software..." instead of "Windows 7 runs most of the software..."? I fucking LOL'ed.
Familarity: I'll concede that point - only with regards to shitpile n00bs and people who simply don't care or don't want to take the time to read basic Ubuntu documentation.
Peace of mind: Yeah, Windoze users sure have peace of mind, what with those nasty viruses, assorted baddies, and random BSODs.
*snicker*
They also seem to think that with Windows, someone will know exactly what they are buying, while with Linux, someone won't know that they are getting, well, Linux. WAIT WHAT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AAAAARGHHHHHHH!
This is where the lies start getting really bad. My camera and iPod work on Linux. No, iPods do not need iTunes to work, no matter what Failpple tells you. Heard of Rhythmbox, Floola, etc? OSHI--
What is this shit about software compatibility again? Emulators can get Windoze software working on Linux if you are so inclined, and vice versa. OH WAIT THEY DON'T WANT/EXPECT N00BS TO KNOW ABOUT EMULATORS HURR DURR.
Windows Live not suppor-zzzzzz.....Pidgin motherfuckers, you use it?
Micro$hit shot themselves in the foot real bad by using WoW as an example, as it is one of the easiest games to get working in WINE for Linux. If they had used CRYSIS AT MAX SETTINGS as an example, maybe they would have a little point there. :)
"Authorized support"? So getting support and help for free on forums and Linux IRCs is a bad thing now? Oh wait, it was never about the users. It has always been about Micro$hit making more money, not only by selling a shitty OS, but by providing "authorized support". Micro$hit is sure taking a leaf from Failpple's book there.
Video chat is not supported on Linux? Anyone with the ability to fucking Google something would realize that this is another blatant lie.
BWAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE! Insert foot into mouth and palm into face. Rhythmbox, OpenOffice, the Gimp, and/or other alternatives to shitty proprietary software are free and they come pre-installed with most Linux distros.
FREE and PRE-INSTALLED. Take that, Micro$hit.
At this rate, Micro$hit needs to hire a better PR team.
Uh, okay...whatever. Repeating something does not prove anything - except Micro$hit's desperation to convince n00bs to offer up more $$$.
Yeah, convince users that they should stick to what is familiar and that they should be locked into using Windows because learning how to actually use a computer learn how to use a simple and free alternative OS is too hard for them.
"Shut up and listen to us cause we know what's best for your n00b brain. While you're at it, give us more money!" --Micro$hit
This is a motherfucking lie.
Apparently, Micro$hit thinks that updating and upgrading Linux is too fucking hard for the average user. RRRAAAGGGGEEEE!
This is simply untrue, unless they actually expect me to believe that (for Ubuntu users) typing "apt-get update", "apt-get upgrade", or using System > Administration > Update Manager is too fucking hard.
Yet again, Micro$hit chooses to insult their customers' intelligence.
Wow. Just wow. This, coming from the same Micro$hit that takes months to come up with patches for widely-known vulnerabilities, causing the common Windoze problem known as SECURITY HOLES EVERYWHERE. This, coming from a company that produced Windoze aka the insecure piece of malware-ridden shit.
I could write a long rant here, but this lie is easily refuted with a few seconds of using Google, so I'll spare the tl;dr rant about Windoze (in)security.
PS. Parental restrictions have nothing to do with the "security of the OS". EPIC FAIL.
Oh, and for fun, here is what I got using my LINUX box:
HURR DURR LINUX IS NOT AS SAFE AS WINDOWS HURRRRRRRRR...
If any dipshit n00b tries to lie about how the same results can be obtained with the pre-installed firewall aka CRACK MY BOX PLEASE Windows Defender, I will laugh at your pathetic computer-illiterate face. Then, I will challenge you to pwn my computer, with the IP of 127.0.0.1, with the skiddie tools you just downloaded off the internet. Good luck!
Really? No tutorials? Help documentation is limited? Fucking lies. On top of documentation, there are forums and IRC channels where users can get free help.
Ah, there lies the problem. Micro$hit doesn't actually want users to learn to use a computer, because if they do, they would be less inclined to give Micro$hit money for unneeded software and services. Micro$hit is threatened by computer-literate folks, so they try their hardest to make sure that n00bs remain n00bs.
In Bizzario Universe aka Micro$hit PR-Land, you can do more with your PC by using proprietary software vs. open source software. Seriously. They expect a thinking person (or someone who can use Google) to actually believe this.
*double snicker*
The lulziest part of this slide was where they claimed that "learning one version of Linux is not enough as there are different versions". This is another lie. This is a fucking blatant lie. When I switched from Debian to Gentoo, I didn't have to relearn how to use the entire OS. I just had to remember to type 'emerge' instead of 'apt-get'.
[sarcasm] OH WOW THIS IS LEET HAX OMGWTFBBQ! [/sarcasm]
Sadly, these lies will work on their target audience. The blatant lying like this is why people still pay $150 for things like "tuning-up" their computer. It is why people buy expensive whitehat scams security programs to "secure" their computer. It is why Windoze fans think that if exploits on Bugtraq are patched, there are no other exploits that are unreleased on posturing whitehat mailing lists, and that Windoze is secure. It is why grannies are conned into paying an extorbitant amount of money for someone to install their updates. It is why I can't sit peacefully in a coffee shop and chat on IRC using a terminal-based client without a retard asking if I'm some sort of "hacker". It is why I cannot rant about shit on my blog without getting the FBI called on me.
Fuck Micro$hit.
As lulzy as the beliefs of the Church of $cientrollogy Scientology are, it is better when Scientology is exposed as the dangerous death cult that it is. It is even better when they get pwned and shamed in court, far from the reach of their paid liars PR bamboozlers.
"When she found herself alone after the divorce, her need for a spiritual search was reawakened," Pascal Le Berre says. "At the start, Scientology gave her confidence, it gave her the illusion she could be stronger than she thought. She saw it as helping the world work better – even a way of saving the world."Oh hey! This isn't unique to Scilons, as the same attraction causes otherwise sane people to catapult towards religion and turn their brains off for the sake of wishy-washy superstitions.
They were convinced she would have left a suicide note, and went to her apartment, where the shelves were stacked with Scientology books and DVDs, to search for one. Instead, they found a box of documents in which she had handwritten a series of punishing self-appraisals as part of her membership of the Church of Scientology. She wrote of how she owed money to the organisation for courses, was struggling to advance up the path to spiritual enlightenment, really wanted to succeed as a Scientologist, and regretted every mistake in her life.As much as I think Scientology is an evil, sinister, dangerous cult, I don't see how this ritual of self-punishment and guilt is unique to the Scilons. If ScilontoLOLgy causes people to get up in arms over a 'dangerous cult' over something like this, people should be up in arms over similar practices in so-called 'mainstream' religions too.
"When you're on the inside, the illusion is perfect. I was convinced that I was thinking for myself, that I became more authentic, that no one ran my life. But the reverse was happening. Without realising, I had been subjected to a real depersonalisation process, a destructuring, so I had become a type of clone. The aim is to destroy, destabilise the person, make them vulnerable, weaken them on a psychological level and place them in a state of dependence."Hurr durrrrrr. How is this different from other forms of religious brainwashing? Oh wait, it has become acceptable, even fashionable, to make fun of Scientology - but not mainstream religions.
"When you leave Scientology, you're totally broken," he says, "as a human being, financially, morally. Your own identity is the result of indoctrination aimed at destroying your critical faculties. When you leave, the feeling of shame and guilt is enormous. It's unbearable."Yes, this is a terrible thing to happen to a human being. Yes, people should be making a fuss over this. Yes, there should be legal action taken against organizations that inflict harm to this extent on their members. However, it seems that similar stories on a larger scale, albeit involving more 'accepted' religions, always escapes the scrutiny of legal systems across the globe. It is the same almost everywhere - make a huge stink over small cults when they brainwash their members to near-insanity, but ignore bigger abuses when they happen in the context of mainstream religion.
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