Evolved and Rational

Innovation, by Steve Jobs

2010-05-23T13:36:00.000-04:00

Bigot fails hard at...everything

2010-05-12T19:18:00.003-04:00

This theistard practically does it to himself, folks!

A Brazilian archbishop said adolescents are "spontaneously homosexual" and in need of guidance, while society at large is pedophile, according to a Wednesday report.

Riiiight.

If humans were all spontaneously homosexual and need to be guided (by the Church, amrite?) to the 'straight path' (no pun intended), the human species would have died out a long time ago. Society in general is 'pedophile'...wtf? Look, if every horny adult started solely engaging in the practice known in Imageboardlandia as BABY FUCK, there wouldn't be much procreating going on either, and humans would go the way of the dodo.

tl;dr: Some theistarded nut didn't think his shit through.

Grings denounced the abuse within the church, but he said internal punishment of priests guilty of abuse was sufficient and that police should not be involved.
"For the church to go and accuse its own sons would be a little strange," he said.

RRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE! So much for the "OMG GUIDANCE OR ELSE!1!1!!1111111!"attitude, huh? When it comes to his beloved church, the path of least punishment seems to be what he prefers.

Grings also said the acceptance of homosexuality in society could pave the way for the acceptance of pedophilia.

Look, fuckwit. The only thing that would happen if homosexuality is accepted and gays are not discriminated against is that...homosexuality would be accepted and gays would not be discriminated against. It won't lead to pedophilia, tidal waves, or Scientology disintegrating. Learn not to fail at basic logic, you fucking bigot.

"When sexuality is trivialized, it's clear that this is going to affect all cases. Homosexuality is such a case. Before, the homosexual wasn't spoken of. He was discriminated against.

Discrimination against gays is a good thing, huh? Fucking bigot. How about the sexual abuse in your church? It will still go on even if gays are discriminated against, so fuck off.

Last year, he outraged Jewish groups in Brazil by telling a magazine that "more Catholics than Jews died in the Holocaust, but this isn't known because the Jews control the world's media."

Good going. Way to let everyone know that you're a pathetic little bigot. Keep it up.

Let me get this straight...

2010-05-03T13:02:00.002-04:00

A woman was sentenced to probation for starving her son at the behest of a whackaloon cult leader, and part of her sentence includes mandatory Bible Study?

Replacing one cult with another as a corrective measure is a good idea? Who knew!

Ria Ramkissoon, 23, pleaded guilty last year to child abuse resulting in the death of Javon Thompson. She admitted denying food and water to the 16-month-old child when he did not say "Amen" before a meal. Javon wasted away over the course of a week before his heart stopped beating.
Baltimore Circuit Judge Timothy J. Doory suspended the balance of Ramkissoon's 20-year sentence and ordered her to report to a residential treatment facility for young women. The treatment program includes Bible study, and Ramkissoon will be required to complete the program, which doesn't have a specified length, before she can live on her own.

A non-mainstream cult (e is ZOMG EVIL WRONG BAWWWW but the cult of Jesus babblers is perfectly okay because, hey, it's a MAINSTREAM RELIGION, guys! It'a AWWRIGHT!

...and they wonder why we call them theistards.

Girl praises Jesus, goes bonkers during speech

2010-05-03T12:54:00.002-04:00

I love how at the end (when the girl is having seizures on the floor), they ask someone to call an ambulance. For all the Jesus-babble the girl was spouting, wouldn't it have been fair to simply leave that lunatic alone and wait for her beloved Jesus to save her?

Apparently, when it really matters, faith stands no chance against modern medicine, and (most) Jesus lunatics don't seem to have any objections...

Fucking hypocrites.

Same shit, different day

2010-04-02T23:49:00.003-04:00

One of the questions that I've always had about religious nuts and random woo-peddlers alike is: Why do woo-nuts love trying to kill other woo-nuts off?

Idiotic and fanatical beliefs, when taken to their logical conclusion, can have (and almost always have) devastating effects.

In Saudi Arabia (yes, in 2010), a bunch of theocrats are more likely than not going to behead a man for 'sorcery'.

Never mind that 'sorcery' and 'fortune telling' has never been shown to work. Never mind that both sides are full of shit. Never mind that said 'sorcerer' was either deluded or a fraud.

What really matters is that there are those who think it is totally AWWRIGHT and even lawful to kill someone for going against their precious little peaheaded religious sensibilities. From the Inquisition to the Crusades to Saudi Arabian theocrats in the 21st century, it's just the same old shit - but a different day.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

People actually fall for this shit

2010-03-17T22:17:00.001-04:00

Go to the web site. If you haven't already gone *headdesk*, you will. Cue the usual bad web design and colorful childlike fonts that so often mark a kook's website.

Bible-thumper status: TOLD

2010-03-16T00:36:00.001-04:00

This should be done more often, and in public. Epic win is epic.

Keep deluding yourselves, creationists

2010-03-10T22:55:00.002-05:00

From this news story:

They plan to become doctors, researchers and professors, but these students from Liberty University, an evangelical school, also believe God created the Earth in a week, some 6,000 years ago.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Somebody please tell them that working at the Creation 'Museum' or a place like Liberty University is supreme weak sauce, doesn't count, and is also made out of lame and FAIL?

Kthxbai.

Satan pwns the Vatican?

2010-03-10T22:46:00.003-05:00

In one of those classic news stories about religious ~~Pedobear-wannabes~~ kiddy-diddlers that make me want to both laugh and cry at the same time, a Catholic exorcist (Back to the Dark Ages!) claims that the recent sex scandals in the Catholic church is due to Satan being in the Vatican.

One has to wonder why this kook bothers to remain Catholic if even the Vatican is no match for the powers of Satan to turn priests into pedophiles. He has basically admitted that even the FUCKING VATICAN is powerless against BAWWWW SATAN BAWWWW, so what hope is there for the rest of the Catholic ~~pedos~~ priests?

I mean, it's never the fault of the individuals who couldn't keep it in their pants, right? It has to be the fault of some supernatural piece of shit in the sky, er, down there, right?

*snicker*

Must be nice being religious - especially the part where you never have to take responsibility for your own actions. Where do I sign up?

Similarities in works of fiction

2010-01-09T23:45:00.001-05:00

(via Reddit)

Jack Chick documentary

2010-01-09T23:42:00.002-05:00

Did you know that there exists a documentary about Jack Chick and his kooky fundie crusade?

I didn't, but now I do - and I'm going to be watching it as soon as I post this.

Enjoy! :D

Religious child abusers at it again

2010-01-05T00:34:00.003-05:00

A couple who ~~mutilated~~ ~~abused~~ tattooed their young children apparently were SHOCKED and SURPRISED when they were arrested for being the child-abusing lunatics that they were.

If this weren't bad enough, guess what they were so enthusiastic about tattooing on their children's bodies...

Georgia authorities said Patty "Jo Jo" Marsh and her boyfriend, Jacob Edward Bartels, used a homemade device to tattoo black crosses on the hands of their children.They are charged with illegal tattooing, cruelty to children and reckless conduct.

Is anyone surprised? Once religion enters the picture, societal norms and moral standards simply become irrelevant. After all, what greater calling is there for the religious, than the calling of an imaginary sky-daddy?

Wait, there's more lunacy from this pair of moronic, evil, child abusers:

Anyway, so they wanted one so we're like OK, so it's just a little biddy cross right here, OK?"

RRRAAAGGGEEE!

A ten-year old child wanting a tattoo? Even if (as unlikely as it seems) that were the case, what sort of parents are they that they would be totally okay with doing something that is tantamount to child abuse because their child 'wanted it'?

Oh wait, they're religious kooks. My bad.

Another year, another troll Mac-bashing post

2010-01-02T00:19:00.001-05:00

(12:14:24 AM) me: macs and mac users are so easy to make fun of
(12:14:35 AM) me: mostly cause they fail so hard, and thus selfpwn
(12:14:40 AM) me: and you're forced to laugh at them
(12:14:46 AM) me: so as not to incur brain damage
(12:14:50 AM) me: after observing the FAIL
(12:14:52 AM) me: ...
(12:14:54 AM) me: oh wow
(12:15:17 AM) me: linus torvalds would be pleased

Heya, wannabe phisher!

2009-12-30T00:26:00.003-05:00

Next time, pleaseee use a proxy or something. See, it's sort of sad when you make a pathetic attempt to phish me, but it's even sadder when even a basic portscanner and anyone with the ability to use Google could have shown the whole world that you enabled SSH but didn't have a clue on how to properly configure it. Also, Telnet? On the same box? I almost felt bad for you, little wannabe phisher, but I think my fingers may have slipped and moved into "mercy-killing" mode.

Now, now, don't cry...you have backups, don't you? A little birdie told me that someone got rm'ed...OH WAIT COULD THAT BE YOU?

Awww...are you gonna get your mommy to tell the po-po that you played with fire and got burnt? I don't think so.

You poor thing.

*wipes tears and snot from skiddie's face*

Mercy killings are never easy.

Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.

Tribulation Knights™

2009-12-30T00:04:00.004-05:00

Have you wondered how it would be if the Time Cube guy and your average Rapture Ready Christian fundie teamed up to create a video game? Wonder no more, but you have to see it for yourself to believe the insanity.

tl;dr version: RFID chips will be implanted in exchange for food, the Antichrist, the Chri-, er, Rebels aka the True Believers™ attempt to defeat the Antichrist, random thinly-veiled spewage from the Book of Revelations - all of this written in the style of Time Cube.

Ouch.

I'm (not) on a Mac!

2009-12-28T16:53:00.001-05:00

I'm more of what you may call a 'Mac hater', but I still laughed hard at this spoof.

Pope attack! Keyboard cat remix!

2009-12-26T23:22:00.001-05:00

Higgs Boson for sale on eBay. LOL Physics.

2009-12-26T21:51:00.003-05:00

In what is probably an attempt at epic internet trollage, someone is attempting to sell a Higgs Boson on eBay. The auction page probably won't stay up for very long, so click on the screenshot to enjoy.

My Christmas wish

2009-12-25T01:27:00.001-05:00

Hey, theocrats?

2009-12-25T01:20:00.002-05:00

Care to join the rest of us in the 21st century?

Oh wait, there's this little 'religion' thing going on, eh? My bad.

According to religion, it's okay for a court to punish people by chopping body parts off, and it's okay to blow up schools for girls while indulging in your religious psychopathic crusades. It's even better yet when such religious inanity is legally permitted due to theocratic bloodthirsty loonies.

This shit isn't funny, it's fucking scary - regardless of what religion is perpetrating these crimes against humanity.

*shudder*

IE6? Seriously?!

2009-12-23T02:37:00.002-05:00

IE6? On my blog? It's more likely than you think!

I was looking at my blog stats and realized - in horror - that a small fraction of my readers are still using Internet ~~Exploiter~~ Explorer 6!

*gasp*

How the fuck is this possible? Haven't you IE6 tards learnt anything? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT ONLY STILL USING INTERNET EXPLODER, BUT IE6...WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN...

I had to resist the temptation to embed code that redirects all IE6 users to Last Measure, but please, if you're one of the technologically challenged n00bs still using IE6, switch to Firefox (in b4 Chrome fanatics), or at least *wince* update your fucking browser *wince*.

Seriously.

Dear iPhone fanatics, I have some bad news for you...

2009-12-22T22:16:00.001-05:00

Biblical discipline

2009-12-21T21:41:00.004-05:00

Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol. --Proverbs 23:13-14

Want to hear a typical story of what happens when a theistard decides to practice Biblical ~~barbarism~~ "discipline" right into the 21st century? Sure you do!

An 80-year-old Taranaki man who assaulted a child with a plastic alkathene pipe has said he believed he was following the Bible.
The man pleaded guilty to two charges of assaulting a child and assault with a blunt instrument when he appeared in New Plymouth District Court on Thursday, the Taranaki Daily News has reported.

The best part of the story? This:

His lawyer, Paul Keegan, says the incident was out of character.

"He is a Christian man and believes firmly in traditional methods of discipline," he says.

ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?! His LOLyer seems to be saying that his commitment to Biblical discipline is a good thing.

Isn't ~~the delusions of a schizoid theistard~~ the 'voice of god' incredibly awesome?

If cars were Macs

2009-12-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

OH LAWD MY EYES

2009-12-11T19:41:00.002-05:00

You would think that after getting the date of the rapture wrong over 9000 times, this idiot would learn to design a fucking webpage. Apparently not.

I wonder what he thinks of the Time Cube guy. Those two should meet...or maybe not. The internet may never recover from that certain web design FAIL.

Hovind's dissertation leaked

2009-12-10T23:18:00.002-05:00

If you haven't already downloaded and laughed at Kent Hovind's dissertation that was nicely leaked to the internets, you may do so here. It is indeed telling that while most dissertations (aka not the ones from a place like Patriot Bible University) are available to the public while Hovind's wasn't, and it is even more telling that his theistard diploma-mill maintained that his dissertation shouldn't be made public.

However, after reading through his ~~pile of dung~~ dissertation, I understood why he refused to make it public.

*hint* It's a pile of dung after all. *hint*

The BAWWWWWWW from his ~~dunghole~~ alma mater:

Dr. Kent Hovind, a Patriot [Bible] University graduate, is under increasing criticism for his stand on Biblical creation. The evolutionists who disagree with him have given up debating the issues and instead have resorted to character assassination. Obviously, they are unable to refute his logic or deflect his message. To discredit him, his critics have used every means possible, especially on the Internet, to personally attack him and his education. The criticism of Dr. Hovind by these people includes defaming Patriot Bible University.

Cry more, liars for Jesus. Cry more.

IRC fail

2009-12-10T19:35:00.002-05:00

If you haven't watched this already, you should. Way to fail at reality again, Hollywood.
"IRC. It's how hackers talk when they don't want to be overheard."

"They speak in leetspeak."

Yes, those are actual quotes from the clip. I cringed, then I LOL'ed.

LOL EMACS

2009-12-10T00:17:00.000-05:00

Yet another theistpedo busted

2009-12-10T00:00:00.004-05:00

We are all used to the religious kiddy-fiddlers who hide behind the mask of godliness while simultaneously being criminal pieces of scum. However, this particular theistard takes it to a whole new level, by harassing a child and encouraging other perverts to rape her.

The 45-year-old, who served as a pastor with the Church of Nazarene in Guildford until last year, used pictures from the teen's Facebook profile to create a video willing people to sexually assault her, the BC Integrated Child Exploitation Unit said.
"It's just so wrong on so many levels," Const. Rosiane Racine told CTV British Columbia.

"The video included sexually explicit scenes. As the video plays there is writing -- words of encouragement to rape a child."

Racine would not provide specifics about what was contained in the text, only saying "it's very harsh."

15 months in jail ~~getting assraped by Bubba~~ is too light a sentence for this fuckwit.

Sexism FTW, amirite?

2009-12-07T22:22:00.003-05:00

I was actually about to get a Droid, but since they chose to market a phone based on "Girly stuff is bad and must be destroyed by LOL MANLY MANLY MANLY STUFF because girls are airheaded bimbos etc..." I won't bother.

Way to go, fuckwits. Way to uphold the stereotype that tech will always be a boys-only club, and anything seen as "girly" or feminine is BAD BAD BAD. Way to lose a customer (and a potential app developer). Way to go.

As the infamous saying goes: "As you were staring at my tits, I owned your box." =P

*shrug*

wince

2009-11-27T11:27:00.001-05:00

Crazies like the girl in the video make me ashamed of my own gender. :(

ATTACK OF THE KILLER WIFI ROUTERS!

2009-11-23T20:43:00.001-05:00

[click to enlarge]

Hackers, electrical grids, hysteria, and whitehat FAIL

2009-11-21T00:42:00.003-05:00

Okay, folks. I've finally sat down and watched the entire '60 Minutes' segment on ~~OMG HAXORS CAN PWN ELECTRICAL GRIDS AND FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF A WHOLE COUNTRY BUT SOMEHOW THEY HAVEN'T DONE SO, HURR DURR~~ "Cyber War".

A few thoughts:

Why do people still think that critical system control loops should be exposed to the internet, and then whine about "hackers"?
WHY ARE CRITICAL CONTROL LOOPS EXPOSED TO THE INTERNET?!! ARGH! ARGHHHHH!
If such a thing were feasible at this point and is actually as easy as claimed in that segment, someone, some organization, some country out there...or even E/b/aums...would have done it by now, don't you think?
I'm not denying that such threats are real, and that things should be done to improve security. However, such threats are often hyped up by certain parties who seek to impose draconian restrictions on the internet.
The Brazilian blackout was caused by soot, not hackers.

Before any of you start snickering, pointing, and laughing at the FAIL, I would like to direct you to the actual FAIL - which shockingly is not the segment itself - but this analysis by Nick Selby. His whole premise is that it doesn't matter - as far as the public is concerned - if the blackout was caused by soot or by hackers, as long as people get the message that security is ~~srs biznes~~ important.

Folks, he thinks that journalistic accuracy and basic fact-checking isn't all that important after all. On top of that, his shilling for security awareness without, well, awareness sets off my cynical alarms over the fact that whitehats stand to profit if people are more security conscious (security consciousness is a good thing!), but hell - why would a whitehat care what exactly it was that set off the ~~hysteria~~ security consciousness of the general public in the first place?! Why care? Why care as long as the public is semi-aware, ie. aware enough to pay for 'security', or the illusion thereof?

Of course, Nick Selby is way smarter and educated than lowly me, but lowly me is of the opinion that the public should know the truth. Not only because if the average person realized that soot, and not OMG EVIL HAXORS was the cause of the blackout, (s)he wouldn't have a nice ready-made reason to call for the blood of 'hackers'. Said person would also be more likely to think twice before (s)he is led like sheep to support the locking-down of the internet due to hysterical propaganda over 'evil hackers attacking our electrical grids!"

What Selby is advocating - basically, awareness without awareness - would sell more whitehat security products, but as far as truth is concerned, and as far as educating the general public is concerned, I have this little demotivational:

Chrome OS

2009-11-20T02:08:00.000-05:00

So, everything will be in the cloud and nothing on the local disk? Who exactly decided that this will be a good idea, again?

*facepalm*

Child murderers got TOLD

2009-11-18T22:33:00.003-05:00

Jonathan Turley has a nice article in the Washington Post about how faith should never be used as a justification for letting child murderers get off scot-free or on greatly reduced sentences. Parents who mumble words to an imaginary sky-daddy instead of seeking medical help for their sick children are ~~no better than~~ parents who murder their children in cold blood, and should be legally dealt with as such.

He comments on a case in which loony vegan child murderers were IRL b&hammered but the religious murderers got off with a slap on the wrist:

The key to the use of such a defense is that it must involve belief in a divine being, not a particular lifestyle. In 2007, Jade Sanders and Lamont Thomas of Atlanta were convicted of malice murder and given life sentences for the death of their 6-week-old child. The defense attorneys cited the couple's strict vegan lifestyle to explain why they fed their newborn son a diet of soy milk and organic apple juice, though during the trial Sanders said she had also breast-fed her son, who died in an emaciated state at 6 weeks, weighing just 3 1/2 pounds. The prosecutor and court had no qualms in treating this couple's beliefs as a poor excuse for murder, calling a nutritionist and vegan expert as a witness to show that a vegan diet can be safe for an infant. The prosecutor even told the jury: "They're not vegans, they're baby-killers."

So why aren't the Christian loonies treated as such? OH WAIT RELIGION OH LAWD NOW THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE...not. If we allow the religious loons to directly harm their children by denying them access to medical care, we are no better than enablers and accomplices to murder. It is fine and dandy if a religious whackaloon chooses to remove himself from the gene pool by trusting in his imaginary sky-god, but when children are murdered at the altar of their parents' lunatic stupidity, the parents deserve no better than to be treated like the murderers they are.

Why so selfpwn?

2009-11-16T01:00:00.001-05:00

Hey theists, here's a friendly reminder from a concerned internet denizen. If you're a rabid defender of Christianity and are part of a Christian group on Facebook which is being raided by E/b/aumsworld, for the love of Longcat, do not selfpwn yourself like this tard by volunteering your home address (aka dox), unless you are willing to be a lolcow and pizza recipient.

kthxbai

Water cooling FAIL

2009-11-10T20:46:00.001-05:00

Typical conversation at Micro$oft

2009-11-08T13:31:00.001-05:00

"Let's design an operating system that runs processes as root and allows non super users to fork processes off them with root privileges! Totally secure idea, eh Bill?"

"You bet."

...and thus Windows was born.

He's BAAAAACK!

2009-11-06T00:54:00.002-05:00

Ted Haggard is back in the business, this time starting a new church in his house ~~in the hope that it would soon grow into another cash cow~~ after being made miraculously straight by the power of prayer.

Isn't this awesome?

*snicker*

The internet explains psychology

2009-10-24T12:03:00.000-04:00

[click to enlarge]

Whitehats, the skiddie enablers

2009-10-22T14:55:00.005-04:00

Certain nicks have been redacted.

14:48 <+G> who the fuck posts this
http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/10/time-warner-cable/
14:48 <+G> ruined a good thing
14:49 <&ophelia> fuck
14:49 <&ophelia> everyone knew about it loooong ago
14:49 <&ophelia> now its public
14:50 <&ophelia> that means they will patch it
14:50 <+G> I know lol
14:50 <&ophelia> FUCKING FULL DISCLOSURE WHITEHATS
14:50 <+G> ^
14:50 <&ophelia> raaaage
14:50 <+G> or at least disclose it before a patch
14:50 <&ophelia> so much fail
14:50 <+G> I've found a few exploits that aren't published, but
they are all simple ike that
14:50 <&ophelia> yeah
14:50 <+G> but the point is kiddies don't have em
14:50 <+G> or they find em on their own
14:51 <&ophelia> whitehatfags are kiddie enablers
14:51 <&ophelia> cause they want the kiddies to start shit
14:51 <+G> pretty much
14:51 <&ophelia> so people will be scared
14:51 <+G> whitehats depend on kiddies
14:51 <&ophelia> and buy their shit products
14:51 <&ophelia> yeah
14:51 <&ophelia> cause they have the skill level of kiddies
14:52 <&ophelia> im not claiming to be leet, but im not the one claiming to
be a "security expert"
14:52 <+G> ^
14:52 <+G> People know buckets more than me
14:52 <+M> also, why just don't ddos wired?
14:52 <+G> but I know buckets more than alot of people.
14:52 <+M> or deface em?
14:52 <+G> im not a skid
14:52 <+G> that's why
14:52 <&ophelia> ^
14:52 <+G> leave that to the kiddies.
14:52 <&ophelia> ddosing and defacing == lame

The stories an information here are works of fiction, etc, disclaimer yada yada. <3

Oh look, it's a vid

2009-10-21T19:50:00.000-04:00

Pirating Downloading using Google!

2009-10-20T22:56:00.000-04:00

YARRRR!

With all the BAWWWWW from the MAFIAA about torrent sites promoting copyright infringement, perhaps it is time to refresh our memories on how Google is one of the easiest and safest ways to pirate (as in, the likelihood that you'll get v& or sued by the MAFIAA is close to none).

Here are some simple instructions on using Google to ~~pirate~~ search for files that you may want to download.

The format you're looking for is:

intitle:"index.of"(FILE TYPE) FILE NAME

So, if you're searching for an mp3 called "Kao Dekai", your search query will be:

intitle:"index.of"(mp3) kao dekai

Instead of searching for the file name, you can also search for an artist, album, etc.

If you're searching for the district 9 avi, for example, your search will be:

intitle:"index.of"(avi) district 9

If you want to eliminate certain types of files, you can do so by adding an "- FILE NAME" at the end of your search,for example:

intitle:"index.of"(avi) district 9 -html -mp3

Good luck and happy ~~pirating~~ downloading!

Pedobear <3 Catholic Church

2009-10-20T22:54:00.001-04:00

Want an example of one of over 9000 calculated, despicable cover-ups that the Catholic church employs to either deny or shirk responsibility over sexual abuse inflicted by so-called 'men of god'?

Here you go.

A Catholic diocese conveniently filed for bankruptcy to delay a high-profile sexual assault case. Not only was religion an epic FAIL in ensuring that their own priests are not child-molesting scumbags, the church has demonstrated that religion is not enough to even want to make them claim responsibility for what happened.

Pedobear must be proud.

Internet FAIL

2009-10-17T23:35:00.003-04:00

A whitehat money-grubbing CEO failing at the internet? No shit!

*snicker*

That's it? What's wrong with the design of the Internet?
Eugene Kaspersky: There's anonymity. Everyone should and must have an identification, or Internet passport. The Internet was designed not for public use, but for American scientists and the U.S. military. That was just a limited group of people--hundreds, or maybe thousands. Then it was introduced to the public and it was wrong…to introduce it in the same way.

I'd like to change the design of the Internet by introducing regulation--Internet passports, Internet police and international agreement--about following Internet standards. And if some countries don't agree with or don't pay attention to the agreement, just cut them off.

Internet police? Somebody call our beloved Honorary Ed Lolington!

Who does he think he is? Someone should get him a slot next to O' Reilly on Faux Noise, as that is where his talents would probably serve him better.

*double snicker*

Copypasta from IRCland

2009-10-16T12:50:00.003-04:00

Kids, here's a lesson on how not to fail at trolling.

12:44 <&lucifer> ive arp poisoned some shithead neighbors
12:44 <&lucifer> and goatsed and nimped them
12:44 <+NIGGER> how??
12:44 <&lucifer> thats what they get for using WEPathetic
12:44 <+NIGGER> with sum milw0rm stuff??
12:44 <&lucifer> `kick NIGGER fail troll is fail
12:44 -!- NIGGER was kicked from #invasion by Hitler
[fail troll is fail (lucifer)]

Fall Out Boy?

2009-10-15T15:47:00.011-04:00

Story here.

So, where's the kid? Did he go KERSPLAT or was he never in the balloon to begin with? I bet he would get grounded if they find him alive.

Trolls 1
Media 0

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Fall Out Boy's name : Falcon Heene

Father : Richard Heene

Richard Heene Residential Listing
5434 Fossil Ridge Dr W
Fort Collins, CO 80525
(970) 204-0482

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Thought of the day

2009-10-15T14:22:00.001-04:00

Wouldn't it be cool to have a mod for L4D where the infected will be turned into raving Scientologists who try to give the survivors personality tests?

#boobiewed

2009-10-14T09:56:00.001-04:00

That's the hashtag for Boobie Wednesday on Twitter. Join in the fun and support breast cancer awareness.

That's right, breast cancer awareness, you internet pervs! <3

Also, BOOBIES!

Scientology: The dox keeps on dropping!

2009-10-13T21:21:00.006-04:00

Everybody knows that the Church of $cientology has more leaks than a strainer, especially where delicious dox are concerned. What makes the latest leak more lulzy is that this nice document exposes one of the realities that the church so desperately tries to hind - the church is falling apart and is in a state of total disarray.

You just have to read the document, as it is a mixture of desperation, lulz, bureaucracy, batshit lunacy, and Scientrollogy bullshit.

Think the lulz ends here? NO IT DOESN'T! What makes the affair more hilarious is that the document was leaked by a Scilon who now considers herself out of the Co$ but still a practicing Scientologist. She is part of a ~~cult splinter group~~ group of Scilons who want to practice the ~~idiocy~~ teachings of Hubbard without the "excesses and abuses" of the Co$.

I lol'ed.

NASA pwned

2009-10-09T22:21:00.002-04:00

A question for my wonderful readers

2009-10-09T00:03:00.002-04:00

See WEPathetically 'secured' wifi. What do?

IDiot logic FAIL

2009-10-08T23:55:00.000-04:00

Barry Arrington over at Uncommonly Dense has written yet another post so mind-numbingly stupid that it seems almost like a miracle that there are people who actually fall for that IDiotic crap.

Considering the fact that most of you are probably in tears after reading his pile of dung, I'm going to keep this short.

Even if the Columbine killers were the most ardent atheists/skeptics/believers in evolution to ever grace the planet, the fact that they were, you know, killers doesn't impact the validity of their beliefs and/or the scientific facts supporting the theory of evolution. This goes both ways, as the fact that pedophile priests exist does not mean that Catholicism is by default factually wrong.
Even if there were in fact negative ethical implications to the theory of evolution, this does not disqualify the scientific validity of the theory.

tl;dr: Even if accepting the theory of evolution meant that you would instantly become a psychopathic mass-murderer, that still wouldn't have any impact either way on the scientific validity of the theory.

The IDiots apparently still haven't figured out how science works. Who would have thought?

Oh look, it's a wild Scilon!

2009-10-08T21:22:00.002-04:00

"I'm proof of what study technology can accomplish."--Tom Cruise, epically losing the game.

Another leaked Scilontrollogy video? OSHI--

Chatlogs of the now

2009-10-08T14:00:00.002-04:00

All names have been redacted.

Now, enjoy the lulz!

[13:46] A: All you're doing is demonstrating that you're an immature asshole with issues of your own
[13:47] B: issues? knowing something about internet security is considered "having issues" now?
[13:48] B: oh dear
[13:48] B: someone alert the bullshit whitehat industry
[13:48] B: oh wait
[13:48] B: they dont actually know anything
[13:48] B: my bad

In response to the above:

[13:52] C: loooool
[13:52] B: told
[13:52] B: macfag whitehat got told
[13:52] C: yep
[13:53] C: whitehats always get told

With someone who discovered a little AdBlock vuln:

[13:53] B: remember the adblock shit?
[13:53] B: and when ppl assumed that you discovered something important?
[13:53] C: yep
[13:53] B: and started a loooong discussion about full disclosure?
[13:53] B: i was trying so hard not to LOL
[13:53] C: lol
[13:54] B: they all assumed you knew shit
[13:54] C: yep
[13:55] C: that was fun

Discussing the wonders of the infamous gay.pl script:

[13:37] B: i just spammed a channel
[13:38] B: with gay.pl
[13:39] B: do i win?
[13:40] D: haha
[13:40] D: What is gay.pl?
[13:40] B: google it fgt
[13:40] B: n00b :)
[13:41] D: ah
[13:41] D: See
[13:41] D: I went to the website
[13:41] D: gay.pl
[13:41] D: and I was like
[13:41] D: wtf
[13:41] B: newb

Continuation of the above story with another person:

[14:05] B: and theyre running an old version of unreal
[14:05] B: so i can exploit it
[14:05] B: and pwn the whole network
[14:05] B: tsk tsk
[14:05] B: im so not going to heaven XD
[14:05] E: lol
[14:06] E: going where?
[14:06] E: isn't that where dogs go?

That's all for today, and I hope you folks are having a more productive Thursday morning.

A foreshadowing of things to come...

2009-10-06T23:19:00.000-04:00

Jesus Camp shuts down

2009-10-06T23:11:00.003-04:00

Who would have thought? Apparently the ~~horror~~ documentary known as Jesus Camp caused enough complaints that the ~~cult indoctrinator-in-chief~~ woman in charge decided to do the IRL version of DELETING FUCKING EVERYTHING.

[sarcasm]HALLELUJAH! Praise the Lord![/sarcasm]

Fischer told CT she would have made the decision to shut the camp regardless, because she is worried about people who would attend simply to disrupt the camp. Since the film's release, she has been bombarded with e-mails and phone calls.

Ooooooh, so apparently she doesn't even trust her sky-daddy enough to protect her, choosing to BAWWWWW and close her cult training ground instead. Very nice.

Epic newfag FAIL

2009-09-28T22:28:00.003-04:00

No matter how hard you try, you would just have to try even harder to be as much of a failure as this guy.

This is probably not the beginning nor the end of a long and shitty social life.

*snicker*

Justice at last

2009-09-28T22:21:00.004-04:00

Finally, some good news.

The parents of a little girl who murdered their own daughter by refusing to provide adequate medical care because they'd rather sacrifice her at the altar of the pseudo-scientific crap known as homeopathy have been jailed.

While this is all nice and good, something tells me that the parents would have gotten off scot-free or gotten away with a lighter sentence if their excuse for murdering their daughter had been because they were following the orders of some imaginary god instead.

Considering the history of such cases, my cynicism is justified, isn't it?

facepalm

2009-09-21T10:58:00.001-04:00

Words can't describe this.

Screencap provided below in case the post gets BAAAAALEETED.

[click to enlarge]

I'll just leave this here

2009-09-17T22:16:00.001-04:00

[click to enlarge]

Herp derp

2009-09-17T13:39:00.000-04:00

Assault for god!

2009-09-16T15:52:00.003-04:00

All of this is apparently fine and dandy behavior due to the fact that it involves religion...till ~~that little voice in his head~~ god tells him to kill someone. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Lulzquote of the day

2009-09-16T14:12:00.003-04:00

"Why is it you speak of never breaking an internet law? Have you really never done anything illegal? I don't understand why you seem to find internet piracy lulzy and support it while also claiming you've never directly contributed." --Random reader on AIM

Halt the presses, everybody. If you've ever saved a picture online that you don't own the rights to, you have done something illegal. WE ARE ALL INTERNET CRIMINALS NOW. Call the honorary Ed Lollington for an Internet LOLsuit. Oh noes!

+1 for epic trollage

AWWWWW FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

2009-09-15T18:40:00.002-04:00

V& OSHI--

When it shows 'secure connection failed', accept the certificate, add an exception, and LOLOL YOU'RE IN.

I guess the Vatican needs to work on their internet security.

Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.

Micro$hit caught lying about Linux, part 9000

2009-09-06T13:42:00.002-04:00

Here are training slides (moar liek lulz slides, amirite?) that Micro$hit uses to help people lie to ~~n00bs~~ customers about Linux, and to convince them that since Linux is too messy for their n00bish little brains, they'd be better off sticking to Windoze and giving Micro$hit more and more and more money. Slides were provided by a forum user here.

Click on the images below to enlarge.

Richer and more engaging experience? Did they mean "making Micro$hit richer"? Oh, and running a bloated OS on a netbook is totally guaranteed to ~~make Micro$hit richer~~ provide a richer and more engaging experience of smashing your head against the keyboard repeatedly and finally gouging your eyes out to escape the Vistaids-like horror.

HAHAHAHAHA just look at the first panel! Micro$hit seems to think, or hopes to convince n00bs into thinking, that using any other OS on a PC makes your PC, well, no longer a PC. Why else would they say that "PCs run most of the software..." instead of "Windows 7 runs most of the software..."? I fucking LOL'ed.

Familarity: I'll concede that point - only with regards to shitpile n00bs and people who simply don't care or don't want to take the time to read basic Ubuntu documentation.

Peace of mind: Yeah, Windoze users sure have peace of mind, what with those nasty viruses, assorted baddies, and random BSODs.

*snicker*

They also seem to think that with Windows, someone will know exactly what they are buying, while with Linux, someone won't know that they are getting, well, Linux. WAIT WHAT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AAAAARGHHHHHHH!

This is where the lies start getting really bad. My camera and iPod work on Linux. No, iPods do not need iTunes to work, no matter what Failpple tells you. Heard of Rhythmbox, Floola, etc? OSHI--

What is this shit about software compatibility again? Emulators can get Windoze software working on Linux if you are so inclined, and vice versa. OH WAIT THEY DON'T WANT/EXPECT N00BS TO KNOW ABOUT EMULATORS HURR DURR.

Windows Live not suppor-zzzzzz.....Pidgin motherfuckers, you use it?

Micro$hit shot themselves in the foot real bad by using WoW as an example, as it is one of the easiest games to get working in WINE for Linux. If they had used CRYSIS AT MAX SETTINGS as an example, maybe they would have a little point there. :)

"Authorized support"? So getting support and help for free on forums and Linux IRCs is a bad thing now? Oh wait, it was never about the users. It has always been about Micro$hit making more money, not only by selling a shitty OS, but by providing "authorized support". Micro$hit is sure taking a leaf from Failpple's book there.

Video chat is not supported on Linux? Anyone with the ability to fucking Google something would realize that this is another blatant lie.

BWAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE! Insert foot into mouth and palm into face. Rhythmbox, OpenOffice, the Gimp, and/or other alternatives to shitty proprietary software are free and they come pre-installed with most Linux distros.

FREE and PRE-INSTALLED. Take that, Micro$hit.

At this rate, Micro$hit needs to hire a better PR team.

Uh, okay...whatever. Repeating something does not prove anything - except Micro$hit's desperation to convince n00bs to offer up more $$$.

Yeah, convince users that they should stick to what is familiar and that they should be locked into using Windows because learning how to actually ~~use a computer~~ learn how to use a simple and free alternative OS is too hard for them.

"Shut up and listen to us cause we know what's best for your n00b brain. While you're at it, give us more money!" --Micro$hit

This is a motherfucking lie.

Apparently, Micro$hit thinks that updating and upgrading Linux is too fucking hard for the average user. RRRAAAGGGGEEEE!

This is simply untrue, unless they actually expect me to believe that (for Ubuntu users) typing "apt-get update", "apt-get upgrade", or using System > Administration > Update Manager is too fucking hard.

Yet again, Micro$hit chooses to insult their customers' intelligence.

Wow. Just wow. This, coming from the same Micro$hit that takes months to come up with patches for widely-known vulnerabilities, causing the common Windoze problem known as SECURITY HOLES EVERYWHERE. This, coming from a company that produced Windoze aka the insecure piece of malware-ridden shit.

I could write a long rant here, but this lie is easily refuted with a few seconds of using Google, so I'll spare the tl;dr rant about Windoze (in)security.

PS. Parental restrictions have nothing to do with the "security of the OS". EPIC FAIL.

Oh, and for fun, here is what I got using my LINUX box:

HURR DURR LINUX IS NOT AS SAFE AS WINDOWS HURRRRRRRRR...

If any dipshit n00b tries to lie about how the same results can be obtained with the pre-installed firewall aka ~~CRACK MY BOX PLEASE~~ Windows Defender, I will laugh at your pathetic computer-illiterate face. Then, I will challenge you to pwn my computer, with the IP of 127.0.0.1, with the skiddie tools you just downloaded off the internet. Good luck!

Really? No tutorials? Help documentation is limited? Fucking lies. On top of documentation, there are forums and IRC channels where users can get free help.

Ah, there lies the problem. Micro$hit doesn't actually want users to learn to use a computer, because if they do, they would be less inclined to give Micro$hit money for unneeded software and services. Micro$hit is threatened by computer-literate folks, so they try their hardest to make sure that n00bs remain n00bs.

In Bizzario Universe aka Micro$hit PR-Land, you can do more with your PC by using proprietary software vs. open source software. Seriously. They expect a thinking person (or someone who can use Google) to actually believe this.

*double snicker*

The lulziest part of this slide was where they claimed that "learning one version of Linux is not enough as there are different versions". This is another lie. This is a fucking blatant lie. When I switched from Debian to Gentoo, I didn't have to relearn how to use the entire OS. I just had to remember to type 'emerge' instead of 'apt-get'.

[sarcasm] OH WOW THIS IS LEET HAX OMGWTFBBQ! [/sarcasm]

Sadly, these lies will work on their target audience. The blatant lying like this is why people still pay $150 for things like "tuning-up" their computer. It is why people buy expensive ~~whitehat scams~~ security programs to "secure" their computer. It is why Windoze fans think that if exploits on Bugtraq are patched, there are no other exploits that are unreleased on posturing whitehat mailing lists, and that Windoze is secure. It is why grannies are conned into paying an extorbitant amount of money for someone to install their updates. It is why I can't sit peacefully in a coffee shop and chat on IRC using a terminal-based client without a retard asking if I'm some sort of "hacker". It is why I cannot rant about shit on my blog without getting the FBI called on me.

Fuck Micro$hit.

Scientolulzy gets exposed (again)

2009-09-04T12:40:00.002-04:00

As lulzy as the beliefs of the Church of ~~$cientrollogy~~ Scientology are, it is better when Scientology is exposed as the dangerous death cult that it is. It is even better when they get pwned and shamed in court, far from the reach of their ~~paid liars~~ PR bamboozlers.

"When she found herself alone after the divorce, her need for a spiritual search was reawakened," Pascal Le Berre says. "At the start, Scientology gave her confidence, it gave her the illusion she could be stronger than she thought. She saw it as helping the world work better – even a way of saving the world."

Oh hey! This isn't unique to Scilons, as the same attraction causes otherwise sane people to catapult towards religion and turn their brains off for the sake of wishy-washy superstitions.

They were convinced she would have left a suicide note, and went to her apartment, where the shelves were stacked with Scientology books and DVDs, to search for one. Instead, they found a box of documents in which she had handwritten a series of punishing self-appraisals as part of her membership of the Church of Scientology. She wrote of how she owed money to the organisation for courses, was struggling to advance up the path to spiritual enlightenment, really wanted to succeed as a Scientologist, and regretted every mistake in her life.

As much as I think Scientology is an evil, sinister, dangerous cult, I don't see how this ritual of self-punishment and guilt is unique to the Scilons. If ScilontoLOLgy causes people to get up in arms over a 'dangerous cult' over something like this, people should be up in arms over similar practices in so-called 'mainstream' religions too.

"When you're on the inside, the illusion is perfect. I was convinced that I was thinking for myself, that I became more authentic, that no one ran my life. But the reverse was happening. Without realising, I had been subjected to a real depersonalisation process, a destructuring, so I had become a type of clone. The aim is to destroy, destabilise the person, make them vulnerable, weaken them on a psychological level and place them in a state of dependence."

Hurr durrrrrr. How is this different from other forms of religious brainwashing? Oh wait, it has become acceptable, even fashionable, to make fun of Scientology - but not mainstream religions.

[sarcasm] It all makes sense now! [/sarcasm]

"When you leave Scientology, you're totally broken," he says, "as a human being, financially, morally. Your own identity is the result of indoctrination aimed at destroying your critical faculties. When you leave, the feeling of shame and guilt is enormous. It's unbearable."

Yes, this is a terrible thing to happen to a human being. Yes, people should be making a fuss over this. Yes, there should be legal action taken against organizations that inflict harm to this extent on their members. However, it seems that similar stories on a larger scale, albeit involving more 'accepted' religions, always escapes the scrutiny of legal systems across the globe. It is the same almost everywhere - make a huge stink over small cults when they brainwash their members to near-insanity, but ignore bigger abuses when they happen in the context of mainstream religion.

To not speak out against mainstream religions and yet BAWWWWW about Scientology is hypocrisy, or at the very least, sheer cowardice.

Don't be a fucking coward.

Ray Comfort is a filthy liar

2009-08-29T22:36:00.001-04:00

Either that, or he is a moronic, brainwashed lunatic who voluntarily ceased all intelligent brain function to serve his imaginary sky-daddy.

If you've swallowed the Comfort Kool-Aid, you wouldn't need an actual miracle (for example, god regrowing an amputated limb or an amputated limb growing after prayer) to 'prove' that god miraculously helped an amputee. No, sireeee. All you have to do is link to a video where an amputee with prosthetics (a product of medical science and designed by humans), talks about participating in the Special Olympics (a sporting event created by humans).

[sarcasm] Get it, theistards? That is totally a miracle! Humans designed the prosthetics, and it was his choice and willpower to compete in the Special Olympics. Instead of giving him and his doctors the credit they deserve, we will diminish their efforts and thank our imaginary sky-daddy instead! GODDIDIT! Somehow GODDIDIT without actually doing anything! Praise the Lord! [/sarcasm]

Light

2009-08-26T17:55:00.000-04:00

The Facebook incident, now in n00bspeak!

2009-08-23T17:55:00.003-04:00

If you weren't lurking the threads on E/b/aums when the Facebook lulzfest occured, read this article.

To the people responsible for delivering the lulz: I <3 you. Wanna have lunch sometime?

Now, a look behind the scenes from various perspectives:

"I am another stupid n00b who fails at basic internet security because I lack common sense! I use the same passwords for all my accounts, so when one of them is compromised, all my accounts get pwned and goatsed like a stack of dominoes going PWN PWN PWN as they collapse in an infinite loop of fail! When I get pwned and exposed for the stupid n00b I am, I BAWWWWW and expect sympathy from the internets because I don't like admitting that I fail at computers! If I acted like this IRL, I would be mugged daily and ultimately murdered, but somehow on the internet I can evade all responsibility for my actions because I can pin the blame on "evil hackers"! Oh well, maybe Fox News will be interested in my story so they can fear-monger away, so that people will give up their free speech on the internet and pay more for whitehat scams aka "security" products! Yay!" --lolcows, er, I meant victims

"I am a posturing retard who knows nothing about hacking, so I conflate cracking and phishing with hacking in my sensational headline so I can both fear-monger and get more readers! I took some tips from Fox News and now I look even more retarded for it! I just hope that nobody with a brain comes along and calls me out on my ignorance!" --The Coffee Desk author

"I don't know anything about computers but I know hackers are evil because the media says so, and this proves it! I am an ignorant dumbfuck but I don't want to learn because I will blindly trust the media like the sheep I am! Ban 4chan! BANNNNNNNNN 4chan! I WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL THE INTERNET BECAUSE IT IS TOO SCARY FOR ME BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" --90% of internet users

"Wow, despite the fail that E/b/aums has become lately, something lulzy and win came out of it. Perhaps there is hope afeter all...." --/b/ oldfags and cancer-free channers

"OMGWTF1337HAX!!!" --snot-nosed skiddies

[Alternates between laughing and facepalming] --intelligent, well-informed internet users

"We did it for the lulz!" --E/b/aumsworld

Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.

I R KONFUZED

2009-08-23T16:27:00.000-04:00

Bizzario World, here we come:

"It's a tiny minority of women here that wants this new law - the intellectuals. The poor and illiterate women of this country - the real Muslims - are against it," she added.

The truth about IE6

2009-08-21T18:19:00.000-04:00

Who would have thought?

2009-08-20T16:42:00.000-04:00

For what must be the billionth time, another pedophile masquerading as a moral, law-abiding, 'servant of god' has been exposed as yet another opportunistic bigot using religion as a cover for his heinous acts against ~~shotas~~ children. Religion provided this sick fuck an excellent curtain to hide behind while fucking and enabling other people to fuck the children he convinced the world he was looking after, and not only that, it helped convince others that he is a person to be adored and emulated.

The next time some deluded dumbfuck rants and raves about how religion makes people 'good', tell them that the world does not work according to the rules of pedobear.

Chill pill: Ever heard of it?

2009-08-11T15:43:00.000-04:00

Ok folks, how many of you know that the word 'midget' is a slur? Anyone? Anyoneeee?

Seems like I may need a few more lessons in political correctness. I never knew that the word 'midget' was considered offensive until the recent drama that broke out over a speech by Hemant Mehta.

tl;dr: PZ posts Hemant's talk on his site, commenters BAWWWWWWed, and Hemant issues an apology.

Leaving aside the fact that Hemant was unaware that the word 'midget' was a slur and that 'little person' is the preferred term, many people are claiming that he shouldn't have included the story at all as it was offensive to little people, and that Hemant was wrong for 'making fun of a group of people due to a physical disability beyond their control'.

Now, let's put this whole drama in perspective. Hemant was merely speaking about how internet dating often leads to people not devulging certain important information about themselves, which in turn leads to awkward first dates. Hemant wasn't making fun of the little person for being a little person. He was merely telling a story about how one of his tries at internet dating involved a woman who was not as forthcoming as she should have been in her profile, and how her actions led to some discomfort when they met IRL for the first time. Most of the people BAWWWWing about his talk didn't even care to mention that Hemant didn't just drive off after realizing that his date had been dishonest with him, but he tried his best to not hurt her feelings.

Hemant wasn't making fun of her for being a little person. He was relating a funny dating story that is perhaps an all-too-common occurance in internet dating that happened to involve a little person.

Many atheists are obsessed with being seen as politically correct and to avoid anything that theistards can use as ammunition against them. Face it, theistards can use anything, even lies, regarding atheism as ammunition against us if they want, and as soon as we decide to turn into tight-laced, unsmiling, square-faced uber-politically-correct parodies of ourselves, the theistards have already won. Sometimes atheists need to take a chill pill, relax, and be fucking human instead of worrying about how every little thing other atheists do is going to freak the theistards out and then rag on fellow atheist for it, as the moment we start imposing unrealistic standards on our fellow atheists, we have become a cult - and as a cult, we're no better than the theistards.

For the lulz, here's the Springer fight that Hemant was referencing:

Enough is enough

2009-07-21T22:55:00.000-04:00

I've had it, folks.

I've had enough of the computer-illiterate moron known as 'J the Mac supporter' shitting up irrelevant posts with his Mactardation, stupidity, and general asshattery. His comments were funny the first few times he decided to make an utter fool out of himself; but now, reading his shit is making me lose precious brain cells - something I try my best to avoid.

His idiocy (coupled with my general dislike for human beings in general) is making me RRRAAAGGEEE harder than I rage at skiddies shitting up IRC channels. Seriously.

His latest pile of Mactard droppings can be found here:

Linux users are basement-dwellers who need to get a life, as shown by the pictures of herself ER posted. Linux users are also smug, arrogant, and think that they are the only ones who can use a computer, while not realizing that they need to get a life and get laid!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Enough said.

Some of them also talk nonsense about how OS X is actually Linux, but it just shows their arrogance and stupidity.

Um...no. Whoever the fuck said that 'OS X is actually Linux', you silly little tard? Since your brain obviously can't comprehend anything that doesn't consist of shiny graphics, here is a chart I dug up that would hopefully make you less of a failure (click to enlarge flowchart):

Get it now, tardlet? If you don't, bash your head against your Mac repeatedly until both your head and the Mac are rendered useless. Thank you for making the world a better place!

ER, get a Mac, they just work.

I'll make sure to get a Mac if I someday suffer incurable brain damage that renders me unable to use a real computer, or if I deliberately want to catch a case of the stupids.

Linux is stupidly complicated, it is stupidity!

Just because your puny little Mactard brain can't comprehend an OS that doesn't have a Fischer-Price interface doesn't mean than Linux is 'stupidity'.

Sorry, tardlet. Your arguments fail.

I feel so much better now. :-)

Theistardation? There's an app for that!

2009-07-21T18:56:00.000-04:00

In yet another lulzy attempt by theistards to use technology ~~so that people won't see them for the retarded Stone Age cultists they are,~~ DISREGARD THAT, PEOPLE SEE THROUGH THEM ANYWAY, some tardlet has developed a 'purity' iPhone app.

Srsly guise.

Some theistards not only think that this ~~pile of shit~~ app is cool and hip, said theistards also thinks that they can ~~snare gullible sheep into paying for their app~~ ensure virginity through the HOLY POWER of iPhone apps.

Folks, it seems that the fear of gawd can't make Christian teens keep it in their pants, but an iPhone app supposedly can. OLAWDWAT.

Isn't religion always good for a good laugh or two?

Abstinence camp

2009-07-19T00:21:00.000-04:00

Theocracy: Not AWWRIGHT

2009-07-13T21:29:00.001-04:00

Several Sudanese women were lashed for the horrible crime of....WEARING TROUSERS.

What could have provoked such barbaric punishment? What are the theocratic laws of the country they are living in based on?

Could it be...religion? Is anyone surprised anymore?

Remember: With religion, it's AWWRIGHT! It may sound barbaric to the unbrainwashed masses, but with religion, barbarism, misogyny, and often times even murder are always justifiable in the name of an imaginary god, and proclaimed to be AWWRIGHT.

Fuck religion. Fuck theocracy.

qdragon1337 pwns Casey Luskin

2009-07-09T19:45:00.000-04:00

Luskin gets his ass handed to him on a plate by a 15-year-old:

Luskin claims that since there is a lot of false information on the internet, he does not need to explain why he thinks the information is wrong, and that he is not telling what the DMCA letter actually says, but to just take his word for it. He gets pwned, and then shifts into the classic creationist debating tactic of "lalalala I am right, you are wrong, lalalalalala", while managing to come off as a complete and utter dumbass.

PWNED!

qdragon1337: If you're ever in the area, let me know and I'll take you out to lunch. XD

Why so lame?

2009-07-09T11:45:00.003-04:00

School must be out in Skiddie la-la Land. Apparently someone thinks that trying to log into my Blogger account over 9000 times while failing miserably makes him a '1337 h4x0r'.

What's with all those skiddies and their fail attempts at trying to grow an e-penis?

It's not just the vanilla theistards...

2009-07-07T23:30:00.002-04:00

Pedobear approves of 'black magic' tardlets too!

The court heard how McFadden had been running a martial arts club when he began abusing a 12-year-old boy who had joined.
He befriended the boy, invited him to stay overnight and told him that demons and spirits would kill him and drag him to hell unless he carried out sex acts.
He dressed in a black cloak and used a crucifix with a skull and crossbones and an onyx ring, which he claimed gave him power, to terrify the youngster into keeping the abuse a secret.

The spiritual retardation may stand in direct opposition to the religion of certain famous child molesters (LOLCatholicism), but the perversion of abusing trust to be a sexual predator is still the same.

"One day he said he was going to initiate me into the circle and this became the main driver for my silence.
"He had a cast iron bowl and he pricked my finger and put some blood in it, then he took some of my hair and said that he had to have some of my semen and then it all had to be burned."

Sounds like some other hypocrites who convince their sheep to remain silent about sexual abuse in order to maintain a direct line to their imaginary god. Sounds like every other case where religion is used as a cover-up and a cajoling force for sexual predators to make Pedobear happy.

Passing sentence, Lord Matthews told McFadden: "This was a fairly monstrous breach of trust. You ran a martial arts club and were well regarded.
"You effectively took people off the street and taught them how to defend themselves, but then abused that trust."

Ya srsly guise.

Isn't religion sweet?

2009-07-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

When people start claiming that a church may split because some people in the church feel that other fellow theistards aren't being bigoted enough, doesn't religion make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

Everybody: Awwww...

MJ has a case of the dead

2009-07-01T16:27:00.000-04:00

Remember that infamous right-wing children's book? Something tells me that you'll enjoy this:

I fucking love ~~Adobe Photoshop~~ the GIMP.

When god simply isn't enough

2009-06-26T14:40:00.000-04:00

This is one of the many articles concerning the theistards that basically speaks for itself: The theistards know that when it comes down to real-world situations that demand actual solutions, it is time to put faith aside and seek secular answers. Theistards are also apparently aware that god can't be trusted even when it comes down to what would seem like a fairly easy job for an all-knowing and all-powerful god - protecting his flock in a place of worship.

Lulz-inducing quotes are as below:

"There are practical things we can do," he added, "and we let God take care of the rest."

He clearly hasn't read his Bible enough to realize that Christards are asked to put their faith in god and not themselves. Looks like someone is going to burn in hell.

The class, which met in a nondescript hotel conference room, was led by Vaughn Baker, who owns a security company called Strategos International. Baker is one of several church security consultants who travel the country like itinerant preachers, teaching seminars and writing up security plans for church leaders.

tl;dr: God can't protect us, so we must protect ourselves.

"If the devil comes to visit someday," he asked, "how ready are you going to be?"

Isn't that what god is for?

Oh, wait....god is imaginary. My bad.

*snicker*

JoshU2uber eats Anon-approved pizza

2009-06-22T08:01:00.005-04:00

Remember that 10-year-old fucktarded, brainwashed, cretinous, fundie theistard known as JoshU2uber? After realizing that people were leaving him 'nasty comments' on YouTube, he decided that it was a smart idea to threaten Anonymous and claim that the Anons will never get his dox.

It went something like this:

Saturday: HAHAHA Anonymous are a bunch of losers! You will never get my personal information! Losers! Praise Jesus!
Sunday: OH SHIT HOW DID ANONYMOUS GET MY DOX? WTF HAX HAX HAX!

This is his video threatening Anonymous, which he posted on Saturday:

This was the video of the aftermath, which he posted on Sunday:

Dox (Posted by Anons all over his Youtube comments section):
JoshU2uber's IP Address: 24.210.101.11
JoshU2uber's Cell Phone Number: (916) 233 1617
JoshU2uber's Home Address: 8 Oleander Cir, Lakeland, FL
JoshU2uber's Home Phone Number: (847) 347 8213

tl;dr: His dox was dropped, his e-mail inbox and voicemail were stuffed full, pizza was sent by truckloads to his house, his parents now know what he does on the internet, the police got involved and now want to speak to him. Ah, nothing like a life well ruined for being a failure at the internet and challenging Anonymous.

The lesson to be learnt is this: If you can't stand negative comments on YouTube, don't make YouTube videos. If you can't deal with criticism, STFU and GTFO. If you're going to break down and BAWWWWWW everytime someone says something mean to you on the internet, get off the fucking computer and go outside. If mere 'mean comments' can get you so riled up, perhaps you should grow a thicker skin instead of playing right into the trolls' hands. Most importantly, if you try to take on the whole internet because a few people left you mean comments, you will get your real life ruined, and you deserve it for your own stupidity.

Let this also be a lesson to someone whose story looks eerily similar to Josh's: Mary the Scilon. Call the FBI, make false reports, and spread lies about people who insult your cult, Mary? Claim that you have defeated Anonymous? Enjoy your digital rape.

Disclaimer: I do not support/condone/encourage illegal activity. Posts on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt and a generous serving of lulz.

iPhone users

2009-06-20T23:53:00.001-04:00

(11:48:41 PM) evoatheist: 90% of iphone users are elitist douchebags, while the other 10% jailbreak their iphones and install cracked apps
(11:48:48 PM) evoatheist: the question is: in which category are you?

HURR DURR RIAA

2009-06-19T11:30:00.001-04:00

Raging at this fucktarded verdict yet?

I have posted enough about the Luddism of the anti-piracy fuckwits, and I don't think any of you want to read another rant, amirite?

What I find most interesting is that file-sharers are foaming at the mouth over this verdict and making threats of revenge (oh lawd is that sum hax?) all over the internet without realizing something important: This witchunt and verdict is actually a good thing *for now*, as so long as the Luddites go after people who fail at piracy and fail at hiding their tracks while pirating, the people who actually know how to use a computer and not epically fail and get V& are free to pirate away.

Piracy isn't going to go away, but the people who fail at it will be the scapegoats for the people who download way more in a few hours than what she downloaded in a few years, albeit without getting V& - and I am not so sure that this is a bad thing.

Also, YARRRRR.

Ray Comfort joins the Taliban

2009-06-17T19:43:00.000-04:00

Well, not really, but he might as well have done so based on this post on his blog:

Back in April 1999, ABC TV put a racy billboard of a naked woman lying on her stomach in my neighborhood in Southern California. The image had a small towel draped across her backside, to keep it legal. When I saw that, I purchased an 18-foot ladder, climbed up the billboard and stapled a huge orange blanket over that naked woman’s body. I don’t want some sexually depraved pervert getting off on ABC’s dirt, and raping and murdering my wife or daughter.

What the fuck? This theistard (echoing statements usually seen from the likes of the Taliban) thinks that men automatically turn into rapists/murderers at the very sight of skin attached to a woman’s body. He seriously thinks that looking at a billboard could turn decent, ordinary men into rapists and murderers.

If that’s the case, why aren’t the majority of men turning into rapists and murderers? Why are children and old ladies raped? Are men really that despicable that self-control is a totally foreign concept to them? Is he seriously telling us that lust didn’t exist before racy billboards? Oh wait, the Bible is filled with sexual depravity…what cause the men to commit heinous acts then? Racy billboards in the middle of the desert?

If Comfort and his ilk think that it is perfectly ok to destroy someone else’s property because it somehow goes against their retarded anti-women religious views, imagine what else they are capable of doing for the sake of their religion. I am willing to bet that more people have been killed for murdering in the name of religion than murdering because of a fucking billboard.

What about men’s bodies then? Would women be turned on by the sight of male skin? Or is it just men who lack self-control, and if so, why should women be submissive to men when according to his idiotic views, men are no better than sexually perverse animals? It doesn’t make any sense, but then again, it is Ray Comfort we are talking about here.

I then took a picture of the blanketed billboard and released it to the media, in the hope that ABC would take me to court for willful damage of their property. They didn’t.

I would gladly have countersued for their reckless attempts at willful damage of my precious family.

Ah, I would love to see this go down in court. Wasn't this the same sort of argument his fellow theistard Kent Hovind used to avoid paying taxes?

*snicker*

PROTIP: If a billboard can damage your precious family, clearly something is wrong somewhere in fundie la-la land, and you have a serious problem on your hands.

I just got told

2009-06-16T22:12:00.003-04:00

/me is slightly butthurt

[click to enlarge]

I don't know...guys who do Stage 1 Gentoo installs certainly make me horny.

Uncommonly Dense gets it right

2009-06-16T22:00:00.000-04:00

Unlike the hypocritical appeasers, the IDiots at Uncommonly Dense get it right: No matter how much the appeasers try to deny it, evolution is antagonistic to faith.

The main difference between the creationists and appeaser atheists is that the creationists are honest enough to admit and accept this. The appeasers on the other hand claim to be standing up for scientific inquiry while fudging the truth in order to get more people to their side.

Isn't it hypocritical how the appeasers would be the first to BAWWWW and froth at the mouth when creationists and fundie religionists try to fudge the truth to gain more converts to their side? How is this different from what the appeasers are doing to hide the inconvenient (to their side) fact that evolution and religion are not compatible?

Yes, folks. Appeasers are nothing more than hypocritical anti-science lunatics, and I prefer a honestly deluded creationist theistard over a hypocritical, lying appeaser any day.

Eating fetuses for sex

2009-06-16T21:51:00.003-04:00

No shit, folks. Some Chinese actually believe this.

WARNING: Pictures may be disturbing.

Happy CP Day!

2009-06-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

CP stands for Captain Picard, you sicko. ;-)

Browser wars explained

2009-06-11T21:18:00.002-04:00

[click to enlarge]

Quoted without comment

2009-06-09T16:37:00.001-04:00

From Rapture Ready:

Polygamy rights? Seriously?
No one is born a "polygamist" it is simply an archaic way of life, that people moved beyond centuries ago (well, most people)

I think polygamy should have died out after Biblical times...
When was it that figures in the Bible stopped being polygamous, or stopped allowing polygamy? Maybe that can offer us a clue as to how this is a cultural perversion, not an "orientation."

Impending digital rape is impending

2009-06-08T23:32:00.000-04:00

Remember how Mary the Scilon reported me to the FBI for the 9001th time? Remember how I posted about how I may have to host this blog overseas due to the amount of BAWWWW and lies from the Scilons?

Mary the Scifuck herself has responded with two utterly ~~asking for it~~ astounding comments:

WE WIN! ER is going to be arrested by the FBI soon, and this blog is going to be shut down.

I have defeated Anonymous!

That's right, folks. Mary actually thinks that she has defeated Anonymous. She thinks she has defeated the whole fucking internet.

Let me quote her again so that you can see the utter fucktardation that is Mary the Scilon:

I have defeated Anonymous! --Mary the Scilon
I have defeated Anonymous! --Mary the Scilon
I have defeated Anonymous! --Mary the Scilon
I have defeated Anonymous! --Mary the Scilon
I have defeated Anonymous! --Mary the Scilon

At this point, I don't think even curtains and a dog can save her. She has sentenced herself to punishment by /i/nternet justice (Selfpwn much, Mary?), especially since she e-mailed me one of her usual screeds yesterday with the same e-mail address she uses for her Paypal account.

It's over for Mary, folks. Her e-mail will be published here tomorrow, along with her e-mail address. Although I do not condone illegal activities, something tells me that Mary will be given a harsh lesson in internet (in)security tomorrow.

While I've never done anything illegal on the internet, I would readily point and laugh when Mary gets what she deserves, mainly a good dose of a mystical substance called 'hax'.

Good luck, Mary. You'll need it.

Fundies sure got told

2009-06-08T23:17:00.000-04:00

Fundies: Without religion, society would collapse. It is impossible to live without religion. If atheists are the majority, there would be total and utter chaos, and modern civilization would collapse! BAWWWWW!

Reality: Countries with a higher atheist population are more peaceful.

Enough said.

Why there are no girls on the internet, part 9000

2009-06-08T15:01:00.000-04:00

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?

Apparently it has become necessary to exploit a prepubescent girl and dress her in a way that is borderline CP to promote an OS.

Apparently some people think that the best way to market an OS to horny basement-dwelling virgins is by showing everyone again and again than women are to be taken seriously only as sex objects.

Apparently some people in the open source community think that their main market consists of basement dwelling virgin white males.

Apparently sexism is AWWRIGHT, alive and well in such communities.

Apparently women don't count as far as they are concerned, as women who may actually be interested in using an alternative OS do not exist. Nooooone. They DO NOT EXIST.

Apparently it is then AWWRIGHT for the same people to point out and gloat over the fact that 'there are no girls on the internet' and that girls are simply not interested in 'computers and all that guy stuff', after actively showing women that we don't fucking count as far as their PR team is concerned.

That's right, folks. As far as they are concerned, women don't count - and never will.

More creationist 'science'

2009-06-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

Read and weep.

This is what ~~cretinshits~~ creationists actually ~~brainwash~~ teach their children.

[click to enlarge]

Appeasers: So us 'militant atheists' are supposed to let the religious brainwash their children and not offend them by opposing what they believe, amirite? I for one don't think so.

Shota vs. Hackers on steroids

2009-06-02T23:37:00.001-04:00

Here's some lulz for all of you.

Look at the video below - some underage b& tard apparently wants to report 'hackers' to the ~~popo~~ police while unsuccessfully trying to hide his Spongebob poster.

Too bad he didn't think of getting a dog and some curtains. Oh well...

To those who are getting /i/deas, don't bother. This kid's original account was nicely pwned (Jeez, what did he think would happen?), and this video is currently uploaded to an account controlled by an Anon.

I wonder what his parents would think if they knew what their child did on the internet. Sadly for him, his fucktardery would now be preserved on the internet forever for everyone to see, and I hope it haunts him for the rest of his life. Stupidity has a price, even when it involves clueless kids.

Murderers for Christ

2009-06-01T20:26:00.000-04:00

While absently clicking through the fanatical Christard part of the internet, I happened to come across a site titled 'Prisoners for Christ'.

No, it isn't a site about how Christians are tortured for their beliefs in Saudi Arabia or some place like that. It's a site owned by fucktarded Christian lunatics who drool over the great 'Christian heroes' who are (deservedly) rotting in jail for killing abortion doctors.

Yes, they are celebrating murders, idolizing murderers, and claiming that since the murderers were killing for Christ, it's AWWRIGHT!

Religion promotes moral values, you say? Religion promotes the sanctity of human life, you say? Kind of hard to stick to that view when your fellow theistards are openly supporting murderers, don't you think?