This is why we can't have nice things

8/24/2008 | 5:23 AM | Evolved Rationalist

Although some of you are probably already bored of the whole Mary the Scilon saga, it is not every day that such a willing lolcow offers herself to be milked to the very last drop of lulz. The lulzy adventures of Mary can only be found here - so, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Keeping in line with her epic tradition of blatantly asking for it, Mary has sent me yet another e-mail ~~(omgdox)~~ whining about how I am the one harassing her. She is actually making that claim after the libel, harassment, false reports, and all the other shit that she has done in her effort to ruin my life through the Scilon 'fair game' policy. The irony!

Those of you who want to send her ~~a can of Raid insecticide~~ some love can do so at [email protected]. Be nice.

Now for the e-mail itself:

First of all let me tell you that if you mention this e-mail on your blog you will be arrested!

OH RLY?!

I give you no permission to publish my e-mail or my e-mail address under any circumstance because I know you will send your Anonymous hacking hordes after me.

The amount of FAIL in that one sentence alone....*shudder*

One-sided rants about not publishing e-mails are not valid in a court of law, Mary. A legally binding agreement involves two parties, and we had never made a prior agreement of any sort regarding your unsolicited e-mails. Furthermore, if you had read my e-mail policy, you would have known that your statement is based on a crock of bullshit.

What is this shit about 'Anonymous hacking hordes', Mary? Not only is Anonymous not a hacker group, Anonymous is also not my personal army. You are still failing at the internet despite us trying so hard to knock some sense into your brainwashed Scilon head.

If you are so worried about me sending my (wow, lulz) 'Anonymous hacking hordes' after you, why are you still e-mailing me and trolling my site? Do you really have shit for brains?

Remember, the Anonymous hacking hordes of hackers on steroids are doing it for the LULZ (which is a corruption of LOL) on their underground hacker sites and secret websites where truly epic lulz comes from raids and invasions, branded on the Anonymous websites with an /i/.

[Click here if you don't get the references.]

I am going to track you down, you criminal!

Good luck, I'm behind seven proxies.

In an ideal world, hackers would be locked up like the criminals they are.

In an ideal world, information would be free and there would never be the need to use the words 'hackers' and 'criminals' in the same sentence.

It is no secret that you support hackers!

No shit, Sherlock.

I'm sure you loved it when the Scientology sites were attacked by Anonymous earlier this year. You would have found it hilarious.

I did find it hilarious. The whole world was laughing at you Scilons who claimed to have superpowers and yet couldn't protect your own sites from a little DDoS, a little DDoS, a little....

I am not one of those ~~moralfags/protestfags~~ folks at Enturbulation, Mary. I have my own opinions on a lot of things, including those that are not considered politically correct. I actually do find the DDoS attacks pretty lulzy.

A side note for the 'humanists' who would BAWWWWWWWWW at right about this point: What the early tactics of Anonymous did is that by bringing down the Scilon sites, it sent a powerful message that the Scilons were not invincible, and that their attempts to curtail free speech by attempting to remove the Tom Cruise video from the internet was an affront to those who actually appreciate the value of freedom of thought and speech. People have been holding rallies against Scientology for decades, but even the newfags (the so-called 'New Anonymous') would have to concede that it was the DDoS attacks and not the IRL protests that initially started the new wave of criticism against the Scilons. The first IRL protest was pretty lulzy and I did think it was a win, but what did the monthly protests after that achieve, exactly? Numbers have been decreasing and the media isn't particularly interested in people doing the same thing month after month. Project Chanology has become a failure, drowning in a pool of 'moralfaggotry', 'namefaggotry' and 'leaderfaggotry'; and as much as I hate to say this and probably cause a flame war, 'New Anonymous' is an epic failure. However, I admit that this is an oversimplification and that this issue merits a post of its own, so look out for that.

I noticed that you had a link to the documents on your site and you outrageously called them Scilon LOL DOX! How could you be such a criminal by doing something like that? If you don't remove those links I will make sure you are arrested and sued!

Mary, Mary, Mary. How could you possibly fail at the internet this badly? The documents are not hosted on my site, and linking to another site is not illegal. Many other sites link to so-called 'secret' Scilon documents as well. What are you going to do, sue thousands of people? Don't forget that you are never going to get those documents off the internet - your fucktarded cult cannot defeat the collective whole of the internet. Information should be free and it will be free. You can go fuck yourself now.

Click here for the 'Scilon LOL DOX', I'm sure Mary appreciates it. While you are at it, do also check out the 'classified lectures' on Xenu. The next time a Scilon says that the Xenu story is not a part of their beliefs, they are either lying, ignorant (SPOILER ALERT: Xenu appears in OTIII), or brainwashed.

Those documents were not given to the public by us Scientologists, but were obtained by the Anonymous hackers.

Those hackers are pretty awesome, aren't they?

You have been looking the other way when hackers come after me, and you have sent people to hack me.

Why don't you attempt to back up your libelous claims with some evidence, you lying Scilon?

Now I need another e-mail account and I had to go through so much trouble to change my Paypal as well to this new e-mail.

Why would you be telling anyone about your Paypal situation? Idiot.

You were the one who hacked Creationist's blog, and everyone knows it!

[Citation needed]

[Evidence needed]

[Libel ~~LOLsuit~~ lawsuit needed]

You know there are hackers on your site and you know there are criminal supporters because you see their IPs don't you, liar?

Wait, what?!

Does Mary actually think that I can look into someone's thoughts by looking at their IP address? Does she think that this is Hollyfuckingwood? What on earth was she thinking, and where does she get those paranoid ideas from anyway?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Epic lulz.

Disregard that.

It has been established that the Anonymous hacking hordes made up of of hackers on steroids can indeed do the above by simply downloading the garbage file. Serious business, folks.

You mentioned that you like 711chan a lot, and I went there and I noticed that they had a board specially for hackers, and it has the criminal /i/ board. I'm sure you find that board WONDERFUL, and it speaks a lot about the sort of person you are!

You are right. I find that board WONDERFUL indeed.

*snicker*

You said that you are a moderator at a Chan, what board do you moderate?

What if I said that I moderate /i/ for the lulz?

Meh. I'm not telling you which Chan(s) or which board(s) I moderate. It may be one of those evil /i/ boards, it could be the food (/nom/) board since I am a girl who needs to go back to the kitchen at once, it could be the 'We hate Scilons' board, it could be /b/...

Y SO CURIOUS?

I assumed that you would shut up about me when I called the FBI, but no, you still think harrassing me is funny and you still think that me being hacked is funny! You are going to be arrested soon! Good riddance!

Lying for Xenu again, Mary? You were stupid enough to get phished and started whining about hackers just to hide your shame. BAWWWWWWWing about hackers doesn't work around here because I simply don't give a shit.

Hackers are awesome, kids.

Mary, how dare you claim that I am the one harassing you? You truly have no shame. Any fucktard who looks around would clearly see that you were the one who barged into here uninvited, proceeded to make libelous claims about me, started stalking me, and, yes, harassing me. They don't have to take my word for it - they can look it up for themselves and see what a crazy stalking asshole you actually are.

The most lulzy thing about Mary's little rant is that it sounds awfully similar to what Alex Wuori told Kirtaner (420chan founder) sometime last year. Impending fail is impending, Mary. Just saying...

Disclaimer: I do not condone/support/encourage any illegal activity. Take the above post with a grain of salt (and lulz). Especially the lulz.