The Internet vs Crazy Scilon (UPDATED)

7/21/2008 | 9:49 PM | Evolved Rationalist

BREAKING NEWS: SCILON PWNED BY HACKERS ON STEROIDS PARTYVAN XENU HER OWN STUPIDITY, LOL!

LULZ WERE TO BE HAD.

  1. According to Mary the Scientologist, Evolved Rationalist is a supporter/member/fangirl of a criminal hacker gang known as Anonymous.
  2. Mary's e-mail address is [email protected]
  3. Mary has threatened to call the partyvan on Evolved Rationalist if she doesn't apologize to the Church of Scientology.
  4. Evolved Rationalist refuses to apologize to the Co$ cult.
  5. Due to excessive butthurt, Mary contacts the partyvan to whine about Evolved Rationalist.
  6. "I have AVG but my e-mail still got hacked!! Help!"---Mary the Scientologist
  7. "I don't give a flying fuck. GTFO."---Evolved Rationalist
  8. "You are a criminal!"---Mary the Scientologist
  9. "Idiot."---Evolved Rationalist
  10. Mary goes BAWWWWW-ing to the partyvan again.
  11. Mary is ignored by the partyvan and gets pwned.
  12. Lulz.
-----

I have been away from the internet for a few days, and I walked right into a real-time internet drama taking place on this site. For new readers, I will start with a short introduction to this drama.

A Scientologist, Mary, started making stupid comments defending Scientology on this site when I refuted Fox News' idiotic portrayal of Anonymous as HACKERS ON STEROIDS a dangerous hacker gang. Ever since then, she has had a serious, recurring case of butthurt and somehow developed this notion that I am supporting THE INTERNET HATE MACHINE 'the criminal hacker gang known as Anonymous'. Despite being shown that SHE DESERVES TO BE RAIDED BY THE IMAGINARY HACKER GANG FOR THE LULZ there is no evidence for this claim, she has been going BAWWWW on various threads about this issue, and has been providing both anti-lulz and lulz in the process. She once e-mailed me a long tl;dr piece of spam about how Anonymous was oh-so-cruel to Alex Wuori (!), and this told me that she is a brainwashed piece of Scilon shit.

Just when I thought that nothing more that Mary could do would make her more of an epic fail at the internets, she started trolling this thread with comments that I will repost below. This is by far the worst epic fail I have ever seen throughout my time on the internet.

Enjoy the lulz! Here are the comments and the way the drama played (and is playing) out:
Mary
You Anonymous hackers can only lie and try to destroy us Scientologists, and Evolved Rationalist is supporting a criminal hacker gang!!
Mary
However, I can easily get your real name, Evolved, from a simple search. Stupid Anonymous is a cult hacker gang full of criminals!!!
Mary
Hackers busted, and I am calling the FBI!! Here is the information for ER's blog, and she is a criminal for supporting a criminal hacker gang!

You cannot destroy Scientology, ER. You are busted for good.

Hope you rot in jail!!

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SEKRIT EXPOSED, OMG!!

Mary is personified epic failure and epic lulz all rolled into one. That comment alone was enough to show everyone that she is not to be taken seriously and does not contribute anything to humanity (except for being epic lulz, of course).
Mary
All of you are busted. ER, you are finished and you better apologize before I tell the FBI how you support the criminal hacker gang Anonymous.

YOU HAVE FIVE HOURS TO APOLOGIZE TO ME AND THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY!!
Evolved
LULZ
Mary
Idiot Anonymous can't even protect their own boards from getting attacked, a bunch of wannabe hackers sitting in their parents' basement.

Scientology will never be destroyed by a bunch of criminal computer hackers!

You are FINISHED, ER!
After three hours...
Mary
Why are there so many hackers here?

TWO HOURS before I report you to the FBI for supporting the Anonymous hacker gang, ER.

Apologize to the CoS!
Evolved
If your cult can't stand up to a so-called 'gang of computer hackers', it is done for...and that would be a good thing.
Mary
I have already contacted the FBI.

She is done for!
Anonymous
We'll get some dox and raid her.

Anon, we have Mary's e-mail.

Start raiding, faggots. What are you people, cancer?

Mary has involved partyvan in this and used partyvan to threaten a /b/rother. Wake up, faggots.

GO GO GO!
Mary
ER has been arrested by the FBI!
You wish, Mary. You wish.
Mary
What are you going to do now, ER?
I'm hungry, so I'll be taking Moot's advice.

brb, soup


UPDATE 1: MARY CLAIMS THAT HER E-MAIL 'GOT HACKED'.
Mary
ER, I'm sure you would have been laughing when Anonymous hacked Scientology websites and took them down, right?

You are a criminal, or a criminal supporter!
Evolved
DDoS attacks =/= Hacking

However, it was actually pretty funny and I remember laughing.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2077/2216959613_97...

Xenu, LOL!
Mary
I HAVE BEEN HACKED!! I am calling the FBI to report the hackers that hang around on this site, and supported and encouraged by ER!!

She posted my e-mail on here, so she is responsible!

HELP, FBI!!
UPDATE 2: MARY GETS HER ASS WHACKED
Mary
I can't access it and my password no longer works! They sent terrible things to my address book contacts and apparently used it to charge my PayPal account and order some weird shit for me. I don't know what is going on, but I am calling the FBI again!!
My stomach is aching from all the lulz going on here.

However, what I think is the most epic quote of this whole drama so far is this:
Mary
I have AVG but my e-mail still got hacked!! HELP someone, at least even if you hate Scientology admit that ER is a criminal!!!
The first thing I was reminded of when I read her comment was this old 7chan meme.

I hate to say this, Mary, but sometimes people are just asking for it.

UPDATE 3: MARY WHINES TO THE PARTYVAN AGAIN, BUT IS TOLD TO STFU. MAJOR BUTTHURT AND LULZ FOLLOW.
Mary
I reported the latest hack to the FBI, but they don't seem to care, and they are accusing me of harassing the criminal hacker gang supporter Evolved!!!

Scientology is being persecuted by everyone!
Translation: BAWWWWW Scientology BAWWWWWW persecution BAWWWWWW! I can make false reports to partyvan but people cannot criticize Scientology. BAWWWWWWWW I am stupid so I have to blame Anonymous! BAWWWWWWW I should go an hero myself now!!!

Mary tried to act tough but apparently did not understand how the internet works. After nobody took her crap seriously, she had to go to partyvan and rant about hackers. If this isn't an amazing example of failing at the internet, I don't know what is.

Just to watch Mary whine and provide more epic lulz purely for my entertainment, I am including the video below in this post. If you don't understand what this video is about, watch this one first.



The Internet 1
Crazy Scientologist 0

THE END.

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