"God is a lizard loving dick!"

9/27/2008 | 7:18 PM | Evolved Rationalist

[19:00] evoatheist: i'm back
[19:00] [email protected]: wb
[19:00] evoatheist: a lizard pooped on my laptop
[19:00] [email protected]: trouble?
[19:00] [email protected]: lol
[19:00] evoatheist: right on my debian sticker
[19:00] evoatheist: not funny
[19:00] [email protected]: suck
[19:00] evoatheist: really not funny
[19:00] evoatheist: *sob*
[19:00] evoatheist: i'm lizardphobic enough as it is
[19:00] evoatheist: *shudder*
[19:00] evoatheist: reeeeeallllyyyy not cool
[19:00] [email protected]: how did a lizard get on your laptop?
[19:01] evoatheist: well it was in the living room
[19:01] evoatheist: and....ugh
[19:01] evoatheist: i dunno
[19:01] [email protected]: how was it in the living room?
[19:01] evoatheist: i dunno
[19:01] [email protected]: how very odd
[19:01] evoatheist: i know
[19:01] evoatheist: and then
[19:01] evoatheist: i went downstairs
[19:01] evoatheist: and saw the poop
[19:01] [email protected]: having lizard for dinner?
[19:01] evoatheist: it was right on the debian sticker! the one that a good friend gave me at defcon. i am raging right now
[19:01] evoatheist: fuck
[19:02] evoatheist: FUCK
[19:02] evoatheist: damnit
[19:02] evoatheist: FUCK
[19:02] evoatheist: fucking shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] [email protected]: for a second I thought you meant your copy of suse crapped out
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: shit
[19:02] evoatheist: LOL
[19:02] [email protected]: but then I remembered your a debian person
[19:02] evoatheist: oh lol
[19:02] evoatheist: yeah yeah you're 1337
[19:02] evoatheist: FUCKING LIZARDS
[19:02] evoatheist: i can deal with a skiddie infestation but not a lizard
[19:03] evoatheist: noooo
[19:03] evoatheist: this sucks
[19:03] evoatheist: if i ever find the lizard that did this
[19:03] evoatheist: RRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE
[19:03] evoatheist: it would join the pain series on ED
[19:03] evoatheist: seriously
[19:05] [email protected]: how are you being infested with lizards in pittsburg?
[19:05] evoatheist: i dunno
[19:05] [email protected]: it's liek an episode of the twilight zone
[19:05] evoatheist: i'm raging so bad
[19:05] evoatheist: fucking lizard
[19:05] evoatheist: too bad lizards cannot be hacked
[19:05] evoatheist: eh
[19:05] evoatheist:
[19:05] [email protected]: sure they can be
[19:05] evoatheist: not in the sense
[19:05] evoatheist: that i'm talking about
[19:06] [email protected]: /r/aid
[19:06] evoatheist: ra/i/d insecticide works on lizards?!
[19:06] [email protected]: in high enough quantities, it'll kill anything
[19:06] evoatheist: yeah
[19:06] evoatheist: unless the lizard bought a dog
[19:07] [email protected]: yeah, because they do that
[19:07] evoatheist: exactly
[19:07] evoatheist: to prevent hackers on steroids from fucking with them
[19:07] evoatheist: no seriously
[19:07] evoatheist: this sucks
[19:07] evoatheist: there is lizard poo on my laptop
[19:07] evoatheist: that is the problem
[19:08] evoatheist: this is proof that there is no god
[19:09] evoatheist: a loving god would never allow this to happen
[19:09] [email protected]: actually, that's a rather statistically unlikely event
[19:09] [email protected]: proof that there is a god, and he hates you
[19:09] evoatheist: but...why?
[19:09] [email protected]: dunno
[19:09] evoatheist: i moderate four boards on three different chans. that should get me into heaven!
[19:09] [email protected]: perhaps he's a member to 12chan or whatever it's called
[19:09] evoatheist: 12chan? i don't go there
[19:09] evoatheist: not my thing
[19:10] [email protected]: maybe he like ebaums world
[19:10] evoatheist: maybe he's a gaiafag
[19:10] evoatheist: *shudder* i'm so gonna burn
[19:10] evoatheist: grrrr
[19:11] evoatheist: the sticker cannot be saved
[19:11] evoatheist: FUCK LIZARDS
[19:12] evoatheist: god is a lizard-loving dick
[19:12] [email protected]: you should name the lizard 'god', like I named my car "the internet"
[19:12] evoatheist: seriously?
[19:13] [email protected]: it's not a big truck
[19:13] evoatheist: it's a series of tubes
[19:13] [email protected]: no, the internet is a 99 chevy lumina
[19:13] evoatheist: my ipod is named 'mudkip'
[19:13] evoatheist: OH SHIT I ADMITTED TO OWNING AN IPOD
[19:13] [email protected]: hahaha you have an iPod! You love Apple!
[19:13] [email protected]: applefag
[19:13] evoatheist: dicks everywhere
[19:13] evoatheist: noooooo
[19:13] evoatheist: ipods are not macs
[19:13] evoatheist: big difference

This conversation provides some insight into the oh-so-important (to my fanboys) question of why I am still single. Seen enough yet?