Worm comes. Worm sees. Worm pwns human. Nastily.

5/31/2008 | 2:52 AM | Evolved Rationalist

No, this isn't a tagline for a (bad) movie. If the stupid army known as the creationists were right all along, let's take a look at another amazing orgasm organism that must have been created by a loving creator.

This creature that sounds like something out of a bad horror movie is none other than the guinea worm (Dracunculus medinensis). If you are a clueless creationist, this creature was designed specially by a loving god to require a human host. For the rest of us who do not have our heads trapped in our anal orifice (known as the asshole in popular speech), such an orgasm (WTF is wrong with me today?) organism is a testament to the sheer ingenuity of evolution.

The female which grows up to lengths measured in meters does so under the human skin, usually in the leg and feet areas. The females remain after mating while the males die off, and the female bodies become swollen due to a huge number of embryos.

Next, the worm's body wall bursts open and causes a terrible allergic reaction (basically, the human will get pwned) and 'fiery' irritation, causing a painful ulcer to develop. This ulcer eventually also ruptures (!) causing even more misery for the human host. Oh, the worm is not dead - far from it. The nasty worm then emerges and starts expelling its offspring.


However, the part that makes me really squeamish is where the poor afflicted individual removes the worm. The most common way of doing so is to carefully wind the worm onto a stick and slowly remove that nasty thing from the wound a bit by bit. Oh, and anaphylactic shock sets in if only a part of the worm is removed, so you better darn well be prepared to work on worm removal for days.


(Yes, I am squeamish. Thanks for asking.)

The humans who get pwned by this nasty wormThose afflicted usually plunge their legs into water to dull the fiery pain. The most ingenious part of the whole story is this: The worm's embryos seek out water as they emerge, are quickly eaten by copepods (the intermediate host); and other human victims are infected as they drink water contaminated with the infected copepods. The "Worm comes. Worm sees. Worm pwns human. Nastily." horror begins all over again with different humans getting pwned.

Isn't evolution simply amazing, albeit in a twisted way sometimes?

Or, it could be that...

God must be causing all this pain to test His children and to prevent the Evolved Rationalist from typing orgasm instead of organism after completing a blog post about this nasty little creature of his! He is so merciful. Amen.

You decide.

*Images are from here and here.

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  1. Anonymous |

    Isn't this post a bit insensitive to the patients?

  2. Anonymous |

    It isn't a joke, Evolved Rationalist. You sit behind your computer laughing about some disease while millions of underpriviledged people suffer with this reality in their daily lives.

    Stop being a self-absorbed asshole.

  3. lurker |

    Wow, Anonymous. You seem to be taking things too seriously. Where did she laugh at the disease? Where was she insensitive to the patients? Why are you making things up out of nowhere?

  4. Evolved Rationalist |

    Isn't this post a bit insensitive to the patients?

    No. Not at all.

    It isn't a joke, Evolved Rationalist.

    Of course it isn't.

    You sit behind your computer laughing about some disease

    Only in your imagination, fucktard.

    while millions of underpriviledged people suffer with this reality in their daily lives.


    Stop being a self-absorbed asshole.


    Epic troll fail.

  5. James Thomas |

    Anonymous does not deserve a response.

  6. Anonymous |

    See that where the brown guy has the worm? That picture is racist because it says that brown people are infected by the worm and the white man is the savoir. Racist!

  7. Evolved Rationalist |


    Despite the fact that you are an obvious troll or someone with extreme mental retardation, let me point one thing out to you: I am brown.

    You are the only fucking racist pig around here. Get lost and get a life.

  8. lurker |

    Anonymous is a racist KKK bastard. Not Evolved.

  9. kiran |

    Anonymous, obvious troll is obvious.

  10. madscientist |

    Great post, ER. I am pretty squeamish myself, and I'm a mycologist.

    Ironic, isn't it?

  11. Created Rationalist |

    Well, lucky for Christianity, there is no no-death-before-sin doctrine.

    I predict something in the future, "Parasites were the result of the fall!! Shalini Sekhar EXPOSED!!!!!"

    Wait, sorry, you don't need me emulating him.

  12. Stew |

    Where I grew up in Zimbabwe we had a parasite called bilharzia. This little fluke also had a two-host life-cycle.
    It is also an excellent example of either:
    a. Evolution
    b. A loving God with a plan for your life.

    The answer is a. (for ananoymous) Also for anonymous, I am pinky-coloured but unfortunately the bilhazia fluke is not racist and would just as happily infect me as my brown pals. God creates evil little critters to cause misery for ALL his creation.

  13. murf |

    If one assumes that the world has always been the same then you have a good argument Shalanonymous.

    Unfortunately, that is not the argument of historical theology. Death, Destruction, Disease, etc. etc. etc., according to the Bible are a result of Adam's sin.

    Of course then one's choice is whether you are correct or the Bible is correct, and when we find that out for sure and certain, it will be too late to actually do anything about it. We'll all either be rotting in the grave with no ultimate meaning to our lives (which means that you were right, although I wonder what comfort that will bring when you pass from existence) or Scripture will be correct with all the attendant consequences.

    Fairly high stakes, wouldn't you say?

    As for me, I'll side with the Bible.

  14. Psychodiva |

    I'll just restrict myself to saying EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

  15. Creationist |

    Shalini Sehkar EXPOSED as a liar!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a TROLL!!!!!!!!

    It is because of the FALL!! I am a scientist at AiG and we have proven this!!!!!!!

  16. jimbo |

    murf, I had given you credit for more sense than this.

    "if one assumes that the world has always been the same.."

    I gather you mean not that the world is unchanging but has always been subject to the same natural forces...uniformitarianism in geology etc, etc. Yes, this is the rational assumption you people deride as "methodological naturalism".

    "..Death. Destruction, Diease... are a result of Adam's sin"

    Yes, this is the puerile belief alluded to by your co-religionist, creationist, in a previous post to the effect that death, disease and predation were absent from Eden and only present in "fallen" Nature. Funny how people who "refute" evolution by referring to the 2nd law of thermodynamics can readily believe their god magicked together a whole universe without entropy.

    Now, you may believe that the world around us, in all its splendour and decay, its beauty and savagery, is but a fallen remnant or faint echo of the perfection of Eden...


    You might make the argument from design that creatures, as they are, are so perfectly adapted to their current environment that they could not have just evolved to thrive there, but were designed to that end...

    you CANNOT logically do BOTH.

    Either prey animals are DESIGNED to avoid capture through speed, camouflage or just plain tasting bad..

    Or there was no predation in Eden.

    Either some organisms are DESIGNED to infect others, and other organisms DESIGNED to resist infection

    Or death and disease did not exist six thousand years ago.

    You close your comment with yet another tedious reiteration of Pascal's Wager.

    Permit me to point out to you, brother, that as an Aztec Revivalist, I KNOW that the Sun God,Huitzilipochtli, will reward my service to Him. The faith I have shown Him, and the many offerings I have given Him of the blood of virgins wil be requited after my death. I shall live forever as a hummingbird, while unbelievers and evildoers will go down to the dark domain of Tezcatlipoca, the evil Jaguar God of the underworld.

    Why then, O foolish one, do you persist in denying His glory?

    Consider how much you risk by simply refusing to believe.

  17. Creationist |

    Jimbo, your mockery will not be taken lightly by GOD!!!!

  18. jimbo |


    should you ever wish to atone for your poltroonish existence, or make amends for your crass ignorance by offering your unworthy heart to Huitzilipochtli, the Living God... my flint blade is at your service

  19. Laser Potato |

    Jimbo, I *still* can't get him to answer how, if there was no death or decay before the Fall, how the animals got any nutrients because 1.) plants are living organisms 2.) Digestion is a form of decay and 3.) without decay, there would be no way to return the nutrients to the soil.

  20. Creationist |

    God took care of everything! Who are you to question GOD?!!!


  21. smoke |


    You stomped some serious nuts. Nice job.

  22. christislord12 |

    G-d gave plants to humans and animals for food before the Fall, and after the fall meat was eaten. There is nothing wrong, Darwinists.

  23. Bing |

    This was pretty gross, ER. Loved it. Maybe a regular feature? I don't know if I have passed this on to you (although, since you are of a certain age, you would have heard it at some point):

    All Things Dull and Ugly (to be sung to tune of All Things Bright and Beautiful)

    All things dull and ugly,
    All creatures short and squat,
    All things rude and nasty,
    The Lord God made the lot.

    Each little snake that poisons,
    Each little wasp that stings,
    He made their brutish venom.
    He made their horrid wings.

    All things sick and cancerous,
    All evil great and small,
    All things foul and dangerous,
    The Lord God made them all.

    Each nasty little hornet,
    Each beastly little squid--
    Who made the spikey urchin?
    Who made the sharks? He did!

    All things scabbed and ulcerous,
    All pox both great and small,
    Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
    The Lord God made them all.


    Hear it here. Hell, sing along!

  24. Laser Potato |

    christislord12, I see you missed you missed my point that **PLANTS ARE LIVING ORGANISMS**, thus eating living plants involves death. You also missed my point about digestion being a form of decay. Thus, if there really were no death or decay befoere the Fall, animals would not be able to get the nutrients they require to survive.

  25. christislord12 |

    The Bible only talks about death, not decay!

  26. Bing |

    Is that bedwetter creationist still around? Get a fucking job, you blight.

    Do you religious twits ever read that stupid book? Where does it say that "OK, you ate an apple, so now there is death?" IT'S NOT THERE!!! READ IT! F'n A. You make these lunatic rules up after the fact because you can't accept that potentially deadly parasites are par for the course on this planet. You know that it would shatter your worldview if God had created a, I don't know, killer blistering butt fungus.

    OK, I just wanted to use the phrase blistering butt fungus.

    For biblical literalists, you sure make up a lot of shit.


  27. Anonymous |

    Only Evolved Rationalist can make me laugh while reading something about a disgusting parasite. Keep up the good work!

  28. Created Rationalist |

    Christislord12, isn't decay as good/bad as death?

  29. James |

    Created Rationalist,

    You claim to accept evolution. How do you do so when you also accept the Christian doctrine of the Fall where there was no death before humans sinned? According to the ToE, there was death long before humans arrived on the scene.

    Care to clarify?

  30. Created Rationalist |

    When did I say I that I accept the doctrine that there was no death before humans?

  31. James |

    If you don't believe in a literal Fall, what is the point of Jesus' sacrifice?

  32. me! |

    I believe the medical symbol, of 2 snakes being wrapped around a pole is derived from the treatment of these worms, wrapping them around a stick and slowly pulling them out. Pretty nasty. I'd think having a bot fly would be more pleasant.

  33. me! |

    This post has been removed by the author.

  34. Created Rationalist |

    I do believe in a literal fall, I believe there was no human spiritual death before the fall

  35. Anonymous |

    Rev 18For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

    19And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

    CR, stop pulling nonsense out of your ass. You're making the Baby Jebus cry.

  36. Created Rationalist |


    Will you please be more specific to exaclty what you are objecting to?

    Either you are a Christian who thinks I am putting things into the bible by saying there was no human death before sin or you are an atheist who thinks I am doing such by invoking that there is a no-death-before-sin doctrine in the first place.

    ...Or, you just a troll

  37. Created Rationalist |

    or you *are just a troll


  38. murf |

    Jimbo and laser potato:

    In regards to uniformitarianism, it is an assumption that one makes when approaching the data, since no one was around to witness events there is no way to tell whether or not it is correct. If one makes an assumption and then draws conclusions from that assumption, if the starting point is incorrect then the conclusion will naturally be incorrect also. I am hesitant to assume uniformitarianism. Especially given how little we know scientifically about the nature of the world at the time of Genesis.

    As to Pascal's Wager, tedious or not, if one lives in a logical/rational world (as you claim to) it is an inescapable fact. Either the Bible is true or it is not. If it is not true then you have nothing to worry about - nor anything to look forward to beyond death - if it is true then both you and I will necessarily be subject to it's truth claims.

    Call it tedious, tiresome, appalling, call it whatever you want, but you cannot escape it.

    Laser Potato - There are two possible answers to your question.

    1. There was decay (at a minimum) in the world before the fall (humans did not become carnivores until after the fall, nor did animals it appears) so it involved the consumption of plants.

    2. The sin of Adam so radically changed the world that it bears little resemblance to the created world. Since before sin humans were designed to live forever, there is ample possibility for this to be the case. How is it scientifically possible? Search me. There is plenty about science that I believe but can't explain, and of course the same goes for you.

    I don't imagine you can explain quantum physics but I assume you believe it to be true.

  39. Anonymous |

    Quantum physics is just the study of physics at the atomic level and below. What's the fuss?

  40. Anonymous |


  41. murf |

    Yo anonymous!

    The fuss in quantum mechanics is to explain how two particles can interact instantaneously at a distance; or to explain how the results of some quantum experiments are dependent upon whether they are being observed or not. I could go on, but suggest reading In Search of Schroedinger's Cat instead.

    Alternatively a good summation of one of the problems can be found on youtube the double slit experiment.

  42. Laser Potato |

    Shorter murf: When all else fails, make stuff up.

  43. Pleco |


    You totally missed the point about Pascal's Wager.

    You said "Either the Bible is true or it is not."

    There are more than two options. You assume that its either the Bible or nothing. You forget about the myriad other religions that have existed, exist now, and will exist in the future. How do you pick the correct one? If the Bible isn't correct, this does not mean that Atheism is correct. Therefore, how do you know that you have chosen correctly? You risk the punishment of the infidel if another religion is the correct one. Since all religions claim to be correct, the actual answer is that none of them are probably correct - especially when this is combined with the overwhelming lack of evidence to back up any specific claims of a particular religion.

    In the interest of disclosure, I do not accept the existence of any gods due to lack of evidence, but would be willing to change my mind if sound evidence is provided. I am also an ex-christian.


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