On atheists dating theists
7/04/2008 | 11:49 PM | Evolved Rationalist
I have often been asked if I would consider dating a theistard, and my answer has always been a firm no. I am not desperate enough to date someone who is deluded or ignorant enough to think that there is an invisible sky-daddy watching people masturbate. Despite the fact that the theistard in question might be a smart and nice person, there is no way I could ever imagine being in a relationship with someone who has a completely different way of looking at the world. Someone who talks to an imaginary friend would inadvertently have different ways of doing things, and I usually tend to disagree with the ways of a theistard. To put it plainly, relationships are complicated enough without having to deal with that shit. If you don't mind dating a theistard, fine, but I wouldn't consider it.
Sorry, theistards.Most importantly, how could I be with someone who doesn't understand why I moan about evolution and scream 'Oh Gould!' instead of 'Oh god!' in bed? That would be terrible!
Recently, I received an e-mail from a reader about this very issue:
I am and atheist and I recently became a fan of your blog after accidentally stumbling upon it while studying for my finals (I am too easily distracted). Anyways, I am dating this one girl who is very smart and funny. However, she does believe in God and has been trying to "save me" ever since the second date when the topic was accidentally touched. How do I get her to stop without offending her and still allow ourselves to maintain our beliefs and relationship?A theist who is already trying to "save souls" on the second date would certainly set some alarms off - however, if you are comfortable with dating someone who thinks you need to be saved, more power to you. If you want her to stop, just say so, and perhaps agree to disagree on this issue. If she can't handle the fact that you want her to stop being all preachy or is offended by the notion that she should not be pushing her religion on people who are clearly not interested, perhaps you would be better off without her. Be frank with her and if it does not turn out, at least you would have nipped the problem in the bud before the religion issue causes the relationship to go sour later down the road (which would obviously be more difficult). If two people can't be forthcoming and honest about their personal views on something important even this early in the relationship, imagine how things would be in the future. You don't have to turn into an evangelical atheist and try to de-convert her, but sometimes you need to put your foot down and say "No thank you, I do not want to be saved." if you want to have any hope of preserving the relationship and your sanity at the same time.
(I don't think anyone would be hiring me to write advice columns anytime soon.)
Posted in
Atheism
|
