Welcome to the internet

10/12/2008 | 7:00 AM | Evolved Rationalist

Also, gogogogogo listen to the song by the Futuristic Sex Robotz (they're awesome...and ZOMG free download!). I've reproduced the lyrics here, and believe me, I lol'ed.

PC Speaker:
Sit down and take five while I defrag your drive
With Jack in the Box tacos and a dope G5
If you bought MySpace Records Volume 1
I'm gonna shoot you in the face with my Internet gun
My hard drive is huge, MP3s are external
Back up off the urinal and write in my LiveJournal
At the 'puter all night cause my life is nocturnal
Data backup assures that my porn is eternal
"You crazy," that's what all those bitches got to say
So I whip it out and post a pic in my LJ
Friends only cause I don't want my Mom to see
If she saw, she'd cut off the Internet and cable TV
But I don't give a fuck about those Internet hoes
I gotta cut 'em off before they want to propose
'Cause the herpes isn't covered by my HMOs
Deleted from my buddy list and that's how it goes

Motherboard:
Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene
And we'll heat up your case just like an Athlon XP
We don't have no love for the Internet skeeze
'Cause our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green

Coaxke:
Trippin balls in bathroom stalls
Waitin for a fine-ass bitch to call
The THC hits my CPU
And I'm chasin after dimes like an Orthodox Jew
Plug and Play a bitch, I'm a player bitch
Like some virus shit, countin website hits
My Punisher fan grill is illin
When I see you on the street, your shit will be spillin,
I'll infect you with Sasser and MS Blaster,
Pop-ups be poppin up faster and faster,
I master a DAT tape full of raw raps, perhaps
My shit make your whole crew collapse
All you hackers, who gettin on my case
Coaxke is here, and I'll reformat your fuckin face

PC Speaker:
Sit back, 'cause I got a little story to tell
And no I'm not talkin about no AOL
I'm talkin about how Firefox saved me from browser hell
While I was usin Internet Explorer on my DSL
Firefox 0.3, it spoke to me
It said "I'll make your life better than you ever could dream
I'll get rid of all those pop-ups for free MP3s
And I'll blow spyware's head off while it's down on its knees"
------

Something tells me that Mary is going to have a little BAWWWW in 3, 2, 1...

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